Page 4 of The Librarian’s Familiar

Nor did he expect to find a partner in Claw Lake. For a start, he was far too related to at least a quarter of the town, and dating was not at the top of his list of things he needed to sort out. Though he’d realized how alone he was, in his very nice apartment, during his recovery.

“But now that you’re here?” a woman on his mother’s side of the family asked.

“I don’t know how long I’m here for.” Maybe he’d spend the rest of his life traveling, at his own pace, and actually seeing some of the cities instead of hotels, gyms, and ice rinks. “So I’m not looking to settle down just yet.”

A few of the men laughed.

“But if you found someone…” She pressed.

August shrugged. “Hard to find someone if you’re not looking.”

He didn’t know how else to make it clear, but he wasn’t interested in being set up with someone. He didn’t need a matchmaker. No doubt he’d have to refuse a handful of invitations before they got the idea because they thought they were helpful and looking out for his best interests. To them, that meant marrying and living like a proper polar bear shifter.

He had no idea what it was like for every other shifter living in human towns and cities and didn’t want to know because they believed that living the way they always had, far away from civilization, guarding the paranormal prison, was the right thing to do.

They laughed at the idea of inner-city wolf packs, prowling the streets pretending to be dogs, and pitied the big cats who lolled in their living rooms like oversized house cats.

Sometimes lying on the kitchen floor under the air-conditioning, eating the salmon he’d bought at the fishing market half an hour earlier was exactly the kind of shift he needed. Lazy.

They’d laugh about that, too.

How could he call himself a polar bear if he didn’t hunt?

There were times when he had been tempted to hire an ice rink for himself so he could race across the ice on four feet. But he’d never found an ice rink owned by a paranormal where his safety could be ensured.

He finished his hot chocolate and stood. “I’m beat after all the travel. I’m going to be here for a few months at least, so I’m sure we’re going to catch up again, but I need my beauty sleep.”

Several of his cousins insisted that he come hunting and that they’d arrange it all. He nodded politely and retreated to the kitchen, where he rinsed his cup before putting it in the dishwasher. That had been one of the first things he bought for his parents. They were always feeding everyone and then cleaning up.

He’d also spoken to his younger cousins about not being so fucking lazy. If they come round to eat, they could at least gather up the dishes, stack the dishwasher, and wash the pans.

“You don’t need to do that, August.” His mother had followed him into the kitchen.

“I’m used to not leaving a mess.” He shut the dishwasher.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, Mom. Claw Lake isn’t the easiest place to get to, and I could do with an early night.

“That’s not what I meant.” She pressed her lips together and cupped his face with her hands. “You don’t seem like yourself.”

There wasn’t anything he could say to that because the person he’d been four months ago no longer existed. And he had been that person for so long that he didn’t know how to be anyone else.

“I’m not.” He held her hands and lowered them. “But you don’t need to worry. I just need to figure out what I do next.”

She gripped his hands. “I had to do the same when you went off to boarding school. All of a sudden, my kids were either grown-up or gone. I was no longer Mom…not in the immediate sense anyway.”

“What did you do?” He’d been away at school and too wrapped up in himself to even consider that his mother was questioning her life.

“For a while, I did nothing because I didn’t know what to do. It took a bit of trial and error because I wasn’t who I was before having children. Change is inevitable. Sometimes it’s easy, and sometimes you need to test out a few different options.” She gave him a small smile. “Your dad and I are glad you’re back, but we also understand that it may not be forever. Claw Lake can be too small for some people. Whatever you decide, if it makes you happy, that’s all that matters.”

“Is it though?” While his parents might be fine with him leaving again, his siblings and cousins may not like it, as if he left it was because he wanted to, not because he needed to.

“You’ve lived your entire life to please coaches and teams and fans. Don’t change that obligation to pleasing your family. Find something for yourself.”

She made it sound easy.

But what if he didn’t?