Page 73 of Sunset Catchers

That was the whole damned point of it all, for my need to be wanted to be easily fulfilled. To convince my brain that I was desirable, in at least one way, to someone. And now, I’ve ruined it all with a simple crush that blurred everything and washed any clarity and simplicity down the drain.

Call the plumber because my emotional pipe is definitely clogged.

Sure, it is obvious that Levi likes me—he admitted that he thought I was really hot, even if it was a confession made under duress.

But does he have a crush on me? I have no idea.

Also, does it even matter? Of course, it fucking matters! If I’m stuck crushing on him, so is he!

All that led to me being weird as a newborn baby fawn. Every eye contact with Levi is a coyote waiting to pounce to eat me alive. And, of course, Levi, with being annoyingly attuned to my every mood, is not oblivious at all to my awkwardness. It leaves me in a tight spot. I can’t just pretend I’m being weird; he will call me it out on it.

I hold in my sigh and switch strategies.

There really is only one thing left to do; gaslighting it is.

I plaster an expression of pure confusion on my face before I turn around to face him. “You’re the one who’s being weird.”

“You’ve been giving me odd smiles all morning, like were strangers crossing paths on a hiking trail or some shit.” I cross my arms lightly over my stomach. His eyes narrow down.

“Yes, because you were smiling at me weird. I was just matching your energy.”

His forehead scrunches up.

I mustn’t falter under his scrutiny.

I lock ever muscles on my body, even my pelvic floor—it’s always a good time for some Kegel exercises.

I will not waver.

My right eye twitches.

His expression turns disbelieving.

My pulse jolts into my throat.

“Are you gaslighting me?”

Oh, come on! Seriously? Why do I have to crush on a guy that is decent and perceptive to modern concepts? Now, I have to make a right on airhead avenue, which I hate doing.

“I’m not sure I follow. Is this some weird gas station lingo?”

A muscle in his jaw jumps. I watch him approach me, my stance losing some of its resolve with each step he takes to get closer to me. Shit, I’m faltering. Levi stops once there is only a few inches between us, forcing me to lean—not tilt—my head back, to see his stupidly gorgeous face.

Sky blue eyes scan my expression, stopping on my lips for half a second. I hate that his nearness transforms my stomach into a meadow with even more butterflies fluttering around.

Levi’s proximity sucks all the air around me.

“What’s up?”

“Nothing’s up.” I say my voice way up, shrugging. “Everything is way down, like below the surface of the earth. In the magma.”

He doesn’t even bat an eye. That’s how much he is used to my lingo by now. If anything, it only confirms that something is definitely up with me. “Is it about the kiss?”

I fake a bout of amnesia. “What kiss?” He gives me an unimpressed look. “Oh,” I say as if only just remembering what he is alluding to, “You mean when you pecked my cheek. I totally forgot about that.”

It’s not as if I could still feel the contrast between his soft lips and scratchy scruff when they met my cheek. Or wasn’t able to ignore the way I shudder every time I think about it. I force away the one that wants to slide down my spine right now. I can’t show any sign of weakness right now; I’m already sliding down the slope of my demise.

“Sorry if I crossed a line.”