Page 13 of Sunset Catchers

In reality, I know it’s not that big of a deal, and it is a funny story once perspective is earned. And I had been ready to let it go, but then he’d hit a nerve. Being told a situation that upset me “is not that serious” was definitely bound to trigger me. Thus my response to Levi, about not giving a single fuck, when in fact, I gave way too many fucks, way too often.

I wish I could wear one of those medical illness bracelets that would read, Winnie Ellis, suffers from deeply rooted mommy issues. Might get triggered by random words and events. Thread carefully and at your own risks.

Even if I know Junie will understand all of this, I don’t want to dive deep right now, and so I go in with the smaller stuff she’ll be able to soothe from far away.

“It’s just…I don’t enjoy people all up in my bubble. You know how self-conscious I can get about my work. Levi seems to be a cool guy. I thought I was going to be dealing with a middle-aged man that would just contribute grunts to conversations. I should’ve stayed home.” Where it’s familiar and comfortable.

“Okay!” she declares, enthusiastically. “Here’s what we are going to do.” She uses her no-nonsense voice, the one that comes out when she’s doing a pitch to potential new clients. “First, you clearly need an iced coffee. I’ll send you some money for one.”

“You don’t need to—.”

“I’m not done here.” My lips clamp shut. “It’s a good thing that Levi knows design. You love bouncing ideas with someone. It will be easier when you get too much into your head about a detail. Yes?”

My unwilling agreement is hummed out.

“I want to hear you loud and clear.”

I chuckle then take a big breath, and with it, some of the fog of worry dissipates from my mind.

“Yes, it is a good thing.”

“Lastly, it’s fine to let people into your bubble. You’re the most amazing person I know. Of course people want into your bubble.”

Yes, well, tell that to my mother, who doesn’t quite seem to share that feeling. All she ever manages to do is to burst my bubble, leaving my insides feeling slimy. “As long as you don’t let them into your pants.”

“Junie!” I whine while letting my head fall back on the headrest.

“Per your therapist’s orders.”

“You are my therapist!”

“And I am telling you that it’s allowed, encouraged even, to make a friend here, but maybe not a friend with whom we fuck.” I sigh, straightening my spine.

It’s a fair warning to issue—with my track record, I can’t blame her.

“It only briefly crossed my mind,” I confessed. Junie laughs. Any thoughts prior to learning I’d be working with him can be ignored. Sure, Levi is as sexually attractive as men get, but he is my coworker. My moral compass still goes north went it needs too.

“So, how did I do?” she asks.

“An outstanding A+.”

“You know I’m an overachiever.”

She really is, and it makes her the best friend I never even let myself dream of ever having, and yet, I’ve had the privilege of calling her exactly that for so many years.

“Stop fretting about everything. Or at least, call me when you need one of my pep talks. I’m always a phone call away, you know. Plus, I’ll be there in a couple of weeks.”

Junie’s big girl job is helping businesses with their social media. I recommended her to Kit, and she was to meet with her later on, when we’d be closer to being finished with the spaces so she could take some pictures and set up a strategy to get these cottages seen by as many people as possible and, hopefully, get them fully booked.

“Just be yourself, and it’ll be alright.”

“Love you, Junie. I’ll see you soon.”

“Love you, too.”

We end the call. I make my way to the nearest coffee shop.

I’ve yet to find a problem that an iced coffee can’t fix.