Page 21 of Inked Nights

But she wasn’t done yet.

“Stacey and I used to play out in the big field behind our homes. We were next-door neighbors, but our yards weren’t all that big and didn’t have enough room for us to play. So we used the field with all the grass and hills and flowers. Our parents let us, knowing we’d be safe because they could see us from the top-floor windows of our houses as long as they looked out. We should have been safe.”

Derek kept his silence, and she wanted to throw up, but she kept going. If she stopped now, she’d hate herself.

“One day, we were chasing butterflies. We were six, and that’s how we worked; we needed them for our princess court. You see, the butterflies would be our ladies in waiting, and we would be dual princesses in our kingdom. Stacey was the one with the imagination; I was the one who helped add the little details like butterflies to make sure it all made sense.”

Even then, she’d been her best friend’s editor in their own little world.

But even then, she hadn’t been enough.

Olivia took a deep breath and continued. “That day, though, we got too close to the road. I don’t know how, but we ended up right on the curve. I called out to Stacey, telling her to be careful, but she turned at the wrong time at the sound of my voice. She didn’t see the curb.”

She let out a shuddering breath, and her eyes stung, but she didn’t let any tears fall. Stacey might have deserved them, but Olivia didn’t.

“She took one too many steps right at the worst moment. No one saw the car coming. The driver didn’t see her.”

“I remember,” he growled out. “You don’t have to go into any more details. I remember my fucking sister, Olivia. Question is, how long have you known? How long did you know I was that boy? How long have you lied to me, keeping this from me?”

This time, the tears fell. “I only knew when you said your name and I put it all together. I promise you. You and your family moved away right after everything happened, and I haven’t seen you since I was six. I never thought I would see you again. I never thought that you, D, could possibly be the Derek I knew as a little girl and had a crush on.”

She hadn’t meant to say that last part, but she was baring the rest of herself so she might as well keep going.

“I don’t know if I can believe you.”

That hurt, but then again, she didn’t blame him. She’d already broken more than once in her life, and now it was her turn to break him so he could do the same to her once more.

“I’m so sorry, Derek. I didn’t mean to call out right at that moment and distract her. I didn’t mean for any of that to happen. I will never forgive myself for that day, and I will never forgive myself for making you think I ever wanted to hurt you. I didn’t know who you were until that moment last month when I pulled away, but I don’t know how I can get you to believe me. I’ve tried to find the courage and the words to tell you since then. I don’t know what else to say except that I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry that we lost Stacey. I’m sorry that I’m that girl from all those years ago who brings with her those bad memories, and that you’re that same boy. And I’m sorry that I fell for you when I shouldn’t have. I broke the rules. I changed everything. And I’m just so damn sorry.”

She’d torn herself open, laid herself bare in every way she could, and now there was nothing else for her.

She just prayed that she’d be enough, that the small part of her that had once held hope would shine.

But, of course, it didn’t.

It wouldn’t.

Derek gave her one last look, opened his mouth to say something, then stopped. When he turned on his heel and walked out of the hotel room, she knew it would be for the last time. This would be their last month.

He was gone.

And she knew that no matter what some small part of her had thought and hoped, she deserved nothing less.

Only when the door slammed closed did she fall to her knees, ignoring the way her dress rode up and wrinkled, to let her tears fall freely.

She’d broken once more, but this time, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to find the pieces to put herself back together.

She’d given in to that hope, even if she hadn’t wanted to. She’d fallen for the man she promised herself she’d never fall for.

Her rules were clear: never fall in love.

But she had.

Never commit.

But she’d thought she could.

And never tell Derek the truth.