Page 72 of Rivals at Ashmore Castle

‘I think I would like to lie down,’ Nina said. Her voice wobbled a little as she added, ‘Is this really it?’

‘We’ll see,’ Bobby said. ‘You wanted to get it over with, didn’t you?’

‘I wanted it to be over. It’s the getting that scares me,’ Nina admitted.

‘Everything will be all right, you’ll see. We’ll look after you, and in a few hours you’ll meet your son for the first time.’

The pain intensified for a moment, and Nina said, ‘I’m so glad you’re here.’

The baby was born at one o’clock the following afternoon, after what Mrs Billington, the midwife, said was a perfectly normal labour. Dr Nicholson, perhaps aware that his enormous fee had to be earned, said he was happy that everything had turned out all right in the end, as though it might not have if he hadn’t been there.

A telegram had been sent to Mr Cowling as soon as the post office opened in the morning, to say labour had begun and was progressing normally. A frantic-sounding reply came that he could not return immediately, no expense was to be spared, and he must be kept informed of further developments. Bobby felt rather sorry for him, but was glad all the same he was in London. Fathers only got in the way while babies were being born. Better they had something to occupy them.

She didn’t send any more telegrams until it was over, assuming that Mr Cowling would be at the Palace and out of reach all morning. The telegram announcing the birth could wait at the Berkeley Square house until he got back. Meanwhile, she had the happy part of the job to do: introducing Nina to her baby.

Nina’s first words when her daughter was placed in her arms were ‘Oh dear!’

‘Now, then,’ Mrs Billington said warningly.

‘But I’ve been thinking all along it was a boy. My husband wanted a boy.’

‘I’ve heard him say more than once that he didn’t care what it was,’ Bobby said.

Nina looked down at the squashed, red face and said uncertainly, ‘Are they supposed to look like that?’

‘She’s been though a lot,’ Mrs Billington said. ‘She’ll straighten out in a while. She’s a beautiful baby!’

‘It’s true,’ Bobby said. ‘They’re always red and wrinkled at first. Don’t worry about it.’

Nina looked down at the small face and thought how odd it was that she didn’t recognise her, when they had been together all these months. It was a strange and awe-inspiring feeling that here in her arms was a whole new person who hadn’t existed before, starting out on the long journey to become someone with thoughts and feelings and habits all their own, an individual unlike any that had come before. The baby opened one eye in a squint, and moved her lips as though trying to speak. Nina put a finger against the tiny, starfish hand and it closed instantly around it, holding on to her tightly. She felt a pang deep in her stomach that she recognised as love. She hoped Mr Cowling would be pleased. Would the baby grow up to look like him? Just now, she looked only like a baby. There was nothing to be traced in the features, such as they were. She hoped she would look enough like him to secure his love. The world was a difficult and hostile place, and a girl needed a father’s protection. Nina had lost hers.

It was almost one in the morning before Mr Cowling arrived, having caught the last train from St Pancras. His clothes were crumpled, he smelt smoky, and his face looked old with weariness and worry.

Bobby met him in the hallway. ‘She’s perfectly all right,’ she said, before he could even ask. ‘There were no difficulties, and she’s resting comfortably.’

‘Thank God!’ he said fervently. ‘And the baby?’

Bobby grinned. ‘She’s perfect.’

He stared. ‘It’s a girl?’

‘Yes. I hope you don’t mind too much.’

‘Aw, no! A girl? I’m glad! I’d love a little girl to pet and spoil. I’m happy it’s a girl. Does Nina mind?’

‘She’s only worried that you would be disappointed. You’d best reassure her.’

‘Is she asleep?’

‘She might be.’

‘I’ll go up, but I won’t wake her. I just want to look at her.’

‘And your daughter.’

Cowling’s face broke into the first real smile. ‘My daughter. I like the sound of that.’

Nina woke as Cowling came into the room, though he had moved quietly. She looked at him blankly for a moment, still lost in the fog of dream. ‘What time is it?’ she heard herself say.