Page 163 of The Affairs of Ashmore Castle

‘Because I’m married already,’ she said, and the words were like frost falling on roses. ‘I’m sorry,’ she said softly.

* * *

Kitty had wept when Giles was gone, wept for the loss of the golden dream of her growing-up years, of the prince on the white horse and the happy-ever-after. Her dream had seemed to be coming true last year – to marry the man she loved and, on their honeymoon, to discover in the most practical and unexpected way, that he loved her. She had never imagined physical bliss of that order could exist. Then had come the castle, the riches, and the young princeling, her perfect, adored baby.

But Giles had gone to Egypt because, he said, he felt stifled. None of this had been his dream. Underneath all the pink clouds of her happiness, she had always known he had married her for her fortune. But she had believed there could be love as well. Why should one preclude the other? Now she knew: he didn’t love her. He didn’t love her. He didn’t love her. The agony of it, and the longer sorrow of the lost dream, made her weep. She wept as an exile from a dear land that she could never go back to.

But after two days, she had found the courage to pull herself together. She still had her duty to do. And whatever else was true, he was still her husband. Hers. He had married her, they were married, and there was nothing he could do about that. He might run away, but he would always have to come back, because he was tied to this house and to her by an unbreakable thread, and it would always bring him back.

So she had to make the best of things. And he had left her with something to do – a house to run, a kingdom that needed a queen while the king was away.

She would have things the way she liked them now, she thought with a queer satisfaction. And she would entertain! She would fill the house with guests, with life, with fun. She would hunt – she had been pregnant last season and hadn’t been able to take Apollo out once. She would hunt him, and they would have hunting weekends, and neighbours for dinner, and balls. Rachel would be coming home soon, and Rachel and Alice would enjoy the balls. A house with young ladies in it couldn’t be dull.

And her mother-in-law had better not try to get in her way. She would not be told any more – or told off.

She splashed cold water on her face, inspected her reflection for a moment in the glass, then sat down and drew a sheet of paper towards her.

‘What do you think really happened to Speen?’ Alice asked Richard, as they came back from a ride.

‘Don’t know,’ Richard said. ‘Legged it, I suppose. I never did know much about him – picked him up when I came back from South Africa and lost my soldier-servant.’

‘But he left his clothes behind,’ Alice said.

‘He probably had some more stashed away somewhere. He’s the sort of bird who’d have a little hideaway in London to go back to. He had a lot of free time when we were in London, and I never knew how he spent it. I wouldn’t worry about him – he’s the sort who always lands on his feet.’

‘Oh, I wasn’t worried,’ Alice said. ‘I just wondered.’

Richard gave her a canny look. ‘Now, what’s the griff? You can’t fool me, Alice Tallant. You’ve got something on your mind.’

‘I hear the servants talking. Something about a fight between Speen and William over a woman.’

Richard snorted. ‘If those two’d had a fight, it would have been William who’d come off worse. He’d be the one to run away.’

‘That’s what I thought,’ Alice said. They turned into the stableyard. ‘Oh, the greys have been out,’ she said, seeing them being led into their stable. ‘What’s happening?’ she asked Giddins, as he came towards them.

‘Her ladyship’s back, and Lady Rachel,’ Giddins said. ‘Just fetched ’em from the station, my lady.’

‘Oh, lor,’ said Richard. ‘Mother’s back. There goes our peace and quiet!’

Alice put the foot she had freed back into the stirrup. ‘I’m not ready for that yet. Let’s go out again.’

Richard had already dismounted. ‘Can’t,’ he said.

‘Well, I can,’ Alice said, turned the surprised Pharaoh and with a sharp kick sent him careering out of the stableyard, ignoring the shouts behind her. She’d get into trouble later, but later was later. And maybe it wouldn’t happen.

When Maud brought Rachel home for the hunting season, Giles had been gone five days. She was furious.

‘How could you let him go off like that?’ she demanded of Kitty. ‘You should have stopped him.’

‘That was not possible,’ Kitty said unsteadily.

‘I would have stopped him if I had been here,’ said Maud. ‘Why was I not informed of this ridiculous, this unseemly plan? It was one thing for him to go digging in ruins when he was Lord Ayton, unmarried and without responsibilities, but for the Earl of Stainton to run about in that fashion! There has been some mismanagement here. He would not have gone if everything was as it should be. You have driven him away!’

‘I didn’t want him to go,’ Kitty said. ‘I had no idea until the last minute that he was’ – she almost said ‘unhappy’, and changed it at the last moment to – ‘restless.’

‘Restless!’ Maud snorted. ‘It is pure self-indulgence on his part. A dereliction of duty. It is only a step from this to gaming and extravagance and – and other things. I blame you,’ she said, fixing Kitty with a gimlet eye. ‘You have allowed him to become unregulated. Who knows what the consequences will be?’

‘It wasn’t my place to stop him,’ Kitty said.