Page 146 of Worth the Fall

Look at Emerson.

Nate’s call from his on-person radio goes out for backup as Davis’s shouts fill the quiet cul-de-sac.

By the time I reach the cruiser, my hands are shaking. I know I’m in the wrong, but I don’t fucking care.

“What are you doing, man?” Nate says as he jogs down the path, out of breath and more than flustered.

“Where’s the mom?” I say, worried about what else we’ll find inside.

“Not home.”

“Bullshit. Search the house. Make sure she’s all right.”

“On what premise? You know we can’t do that.” Nate blows out a breath as neighbors start coming out from their houses and standing on the curb as the blue and red sirens light up the night like a carnival attraction.

“Well check.”

Keely clings to me, her whimper at the sound of her dad bellowing is all I need to hear to know I’m doing the right thing.

“Hey, sweetheart, is your mommy home?”

“She’s in the shower,” she barely whispers in my ear.

I glare at Nate as another cruiser burns down the street and comes to an abrupt stop beside us.

“Hey, Keely?”

“Yeah.”

“I know you’re scared right now. There’s lots of shouting and lights flashing, and I know you’re confused, but I need you to trust me,” I say into her ear as Nate gives the new officers on scene a rundown of what’s going on. “Have you ever wanted to see the inside of a police car?” She nods ever so slightly without lifting her head from my shoulder. “It’s super cool. Can I show you mine?”

Another nod as I open the back door and slide into the backseat with her still clinging to me. It takes a minute for us to adjust and get comfortable, but her fingers never let go of their grip.

For a little girl used to seeing the worst in people, she is so trusting. The thought kills me. Her innocence has been tainted. Her ability to believe in happily ever after skewed.

“See? Nice and cozy.” Outside the open car door I see Officer Lou talking to Davis on the sidewalk and assume Amelia is inside talking to Lou’s partner. Nate’s at the trunk of their car on his cell with someone—probably CPS.

“Maybe when you’re not so scared I can let you turn the lights on and off and sound the siren.” She doesn’t respond. “Can I ask you something?” I say smoothing a hand down her hair. “How’d you get that bruise on your cheek?”

I feel her chest shudder against mine, and her fingers slowly release from around my neck as she voluntarily crawls off my lap and sits in the seat beside me. She studies her fingers for a long time before finally speaking.

“I fell on the stairs and hit my face,” she murmurs.

“That’s a big fall. Did you cry?” She nods but doesn’t look at me in the eyes. “If you didn’t fall on the stairs . . . you know, like if you got hurt in some other way, you could tell me and I wouldn’t be mad.”

“’Kay.”

We sit in silence as I figure out how to get the truth from her. If she doesn’t talk and if her mom protects her dad, then we have no grounds to keep her out of the house. Silence eats up the car as the crowd of onlookers grows.

“Keely?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you use our secret code?” She shrugs, but I can see her bottom lip trembling. “Did something happen that made you think you needed help?”

Another shrug.

Another loss for how to talk to her.

“Is my daddy in trouble?” she whispers, and I fumble with how to answer.

“If he hurt you, then yes. Just like in school, you can’t hurt people without getting in trouble. It’s the rules.” She nods. “Did he hurt you, Keely?”

She looks at me for the first time since I picked her up. Those eyes so wise beyond their years as she stares at me. Tears well until she finally blinks and releases them down her cheeks.

Tell me, please.

Car doors shut around us. Nate yells something to Lou. But I sit in the back of my cruiser with this little girl and will her to let me protect her.

To save her.

To do what I couldn’t for Emerson.

After a few moments, she pulls her knees up to her chest, curls into a ball, stares out the window, and slides her hand into mine.

If I thought my heart was broken before, she just shattered it.