Page 56 of Twisted Knight

The one that opening means I have to face the fact that she’s not coming back.

That she’s really gone.

Hence my third—or is it fourth glass of wine? A long phone call with a good friend. And time spent on the porch swing in my backyard, which was Gran’s favorite place to just sit and be when she visited.

I close my eyes, drop my head back, and let the ocean breeze tickle the loose strands of my hair against my cheeks. It’s the most relaxed I’ve been in some time—no doubt the wine is helping with that.

Memories fire and then float back. Our long conversations. The promises I made her. The sheer and utter devastation of losing the only person who ever truly loved and appreciated the woman I was and the Rothschild norms I bucked.

I miss her. Plain and simple. I love my parents because … they are my parents and, despite their shortcomings, are still decent people.

I love Rhett as in, he’s my brother and I can talk ill of him as much as I want but my hackles go up when someone else does. At least that’s how I’ve always felt, but recent events have me questioning any defense of him at all.

But my gran, she was my biggest cheerleader, the one I schemed with, and the only person I ever sought approval from.

That’s why her death has hit me so hard. It was like I’d lost the real-life angel and devil on my shoulder, encouraging me to do all the things I wasn’t supposed to do and praising my determination to do them. I thought I was prepared for her passing. I told myself all the lies one often does—she lived a good life, she’s in a better place, it was her time—but they felt like cheap justifications.

It’s been a few weeks now and I’m still struggling to gain my footing in a world where she’s no longer present. And when I finally felt myself lifting my head above the waterline of grief, I decided I’d open the envelope from Mr. Williams.

Rowan,

Well, if you’re getting this, I finally kicked the bucket. Hopefully the bucket was sparkly with the kind of glitter that falls everywhere and sticks to your skin so you can’t get it off you. Annoying in the best kind of way. And hopefully said bucket was filled with my favorite gin—the one my grandfather first made—and that Godiva chocolate that I love. You know how I love to make a statement.

Please, don’t be sad. I lived a wonderful life. One where I wouldn’t change much of anything other than spending more time with the few I loved.

Know that I believe in you. That I trust you’ll keep your promise to me. That you’ll use your brilliant mind and ingenuity to find a way to keep the company thriving and in Rothschild hands. Stand your ground, kiddo. Fight dirty like your brother would if need be. It should be you who’s running it. You have the spark it needs, the tenacity it deserves, and the creativity to look at it through a different lens than Rhett does.

It’s his because he was born a male. I love him, but he doesn’t have what it takes to make the company endure. He’s not you. And because you promised me you’ll keep our legacy going for me, I’ve left you a little something to help with that.

But first, never forget that I’m proud of you. For being everything I ever wanted to be and then some. For your kind heart that you hide from so many others. For going against the grain that was set in stone without women like you in mind.

I’ve left each of you different inheritances. Rhett … well, Rhett no doubt will be unhappy with his, but hasn’t he always been given everything? Don’t worry, I’ll be watching his tantrum over it while drinking that gin.

You on the other hand will be receiving a vast amount more. More about that in a bit along with some instructions on the parameters of claiming that inheritance. It is your prerogative if you want to share what you’re getting with Rhett.

I suggest you don’t until it’s securely in your hands.

You know I grew up in a strict household, in a time where women were supposed to sit quietly, support their husbands, and leave the business to the men. I was before my time in wanting more than that out of life. I bucked against convention but lost in so many respects.

The world is so very different now, Row. Women in the workplace are more accepted. Women wanting more than to be a society lady, even more so. I know you can break the glass ceiling in this damn town, and that is why I’m going to leave you with some wisdom to live by.

1. Life is nothing without passion. Live yours, whatever it may be. Live your passion.

2. Love is a necessity. You deserve someone who makes you feel like you’ve been struck by lightning. Stop rolling your eyes. Find a man who admires your spirit, who lets you make decisions for yourself, and who fights standing beside you, not in front of you.

3. Assess. Adjust. Adapt. Kick ass. You know that was my motto in life. Make it yours.

4. Make waves. Don’t ever settle.

5. Sometimes you have to do what seems wrong, in order to get to what’s right. There’s a reason I married my first husband. It was so I could appreciate your grandpop even more.

6. Give back. Not just with money, but with time. And not to the Westmore community. Find one that really needs it and can benefit from whatever you can bring to them.

7. Eat the sugar. Drink the wine. Laugh when it’s inappropriate.

Enough of my Hallmark card wisdom. Now to the good stuff.

I have set up a trust for you, to be set into motion upon my death and take effect on your thirtieth birthday.