Page 378 of Off Limits: The Firsts

“Why did you use our secret code?” She shrugs, but I can see her bottom lip trembling. “Did something happen that made you think you needed help?”

Another shrug.

Another loss for how to talk to her.

“Is my daddy in trouble?” she whispers, and I fumble with how to answer.

“If he hurt you, then yes. Just like in school, you can’t hurt people without getting in trouble. It’s the rules.” She nods. “Did he hurt you, Keely?”

She looks at me for the first time since I picked her up. Those eyes so wise beyond their years as she stares at me. Tears well until she finally blinks and releases them down her cheeks.

Tell me, please.

Car doors shut around us. Nate yells something to Lou. But I sit in the back of my cruiser with this little girl and will her to let me protect her.

To save her.

To do what I couldn’t for Emerson.

After a few moments, she pulls her knees up to her chest, curls into a ball, stares out the window, and slides her hand into mine.

If I thought my heart was broken before, she just shattered it.

I need open space.

I need the wind in my hair and the roar in my ears to drown out the devastation owning my soul.

I didn’t get the loan.

I’m not going to get Blue Skies.

I tried to start over. To build a life. To stay put. To trust someone.

But it doesn’t seem to be in the cards.

All this hard work. All this busting my ass, and I have nothing to show for it except that I’ll probably be out of a job and most likely out of a place to live.

The thought hits me hard, and I press the pedal down even farther.

Anything to quiet my head, but it isn’t working.

Nothing is working.

Me. Grant. Blue Skies. My attempt to make a life for myself. Maybe it just isn’t meant to be.

So I drive. Push the limits of reason with a pedal and a full tank of gas and wonder what’s next.

The sirens cut through my thoughts, and red and blue lights up the dark night.

“Goddamnit!” I shout to myself as I thump the steering wheel with the heel of my hand, and for just a second, I imagine flooring the gas and taking off.

Was he just sitting here waiting for me?

Nothing like abusing his power.

Because I’d bet anything it’s going to be Grant walking up to my car and asking for my license and registration. It’s going to be Grant trying to reel me in when all I want to do is run.

As I pull over to the side of the road and put my hazards on, I force myself to acknowledge that a small part of me yearns to see him. After the visit from his mom and the doubts Desi lit the match to in my mind, I finally feel ready to face him. The hurt is still there, still raw, but what if I was wrong?