Page 100 of Off Limits: The Firsts

On collecting myself.

On telling myself that Easton confessing he was falling in love with me was not a curse for us. I repeat his words in my head. “Just because I said the words doesn’t mean I’m going to leave you, Scout. You’re not saying it, but I can see it in your eyes. And I’m going to prove to you that you’re wrong. That you’re not cursed. That’s one dragon I’m going to slay for you, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Clear mind.

Believe him, Scout.

Hard heart.

He’s slayed them for you before.

Clear mind.

He believes in happily-ever-afters.

Hard heart.

Isn’t it time you deserve one, too?

Yes. It is.

“You ready?” My dad’s voice booms through my cell.

Did I just royally fuck up?

“Yeah.” My response sounds flat even to my own ears, but I’m too preoccupied second-guessing myself as I stare at the elevator doors Scout disappeared behind minutes ago. Should I go after her and make sure I didn’t just spook her?

“Yeah?” he asks sounding just as confused as I feel.

Because sure as shit, I just spooked the hell out of myself.

“Yeah,” I snipe, irritated that he’s questioning me.

I told her I was falling in love with her. How fucking stupid could I be?

“Easton?”

It’s not stupid when it’s the truth.

“Are you okay, son?”

The genuine concern in his voice breaks through my thoughts. It brings me back to the present. “Yes. No. Sorry.” I chuckle as I take a deep breath, rattled when I’m never rattled. “I’m good. Just preoccupied with something and anxious to get the call later saying that I’ve been reinstated.”

“Well, I’m glad you have something to keep your mind off things,” he says. “Since you’re coming off the DL, it’s probably best if you have a strong presence tonight. You need to go three for three and—”

“Thanks, dad, but I’ve gotta go.” I don’t wait for his goodbye to end the call because I’ve got more important things to do than listen to what my dad expects from me in my first game back.

Like processing how Scout was standing in my room like she does more mornings than not lately, and my only thought was how perfectly she fit there. How seamlessly she’s become a part of my day to day. Then of course, how the words rolled off my tongue.

The offer for her to move in with me.

Telling her I was falling for her.

Damn straight I saw the fear in her eyes, but I was too busy trying to manage my own panic to do anything to help quiet hers. Because thinking you’re falling for someone is one thing, but saying it out loud is another. You can’t take that shit back.

But now that she’s gone, I know I don’t want to take the words back. Who needs grass that’s greener on the other side when you’re a huge fan of how green the grass is beneath your feet?

Let’s just hope I’ve proven that to her.