Page 13 of Unhinged Obsession

She finally looks up at me, and there's something behind her sad hazel eyes that wasn't there before she disappeared. She looks exhausted in a way sleep will never fix, like she's been surviving instead of living for so long that she doesn't remember what it feels like to do anything else.

"I tried to tell you the night I left, but you wouldn’t listen. It’s too late now, Elijah. You and your brothers have a target on your back, and I don’t want you to make that worse by causing a scene. I’m okay." She pulls her hand out of mine, and I let her because the reminder of her phone call the night she left punches straight through my chest.

Blair did call me, but I’d received a weird fucking note that I thought had something to do with Jonathan’s death. I didn’t want her to say anything over the phone in case someone was listening in. When you’re an initiate of the Black Crown Society, there’s no privacy, and I couldn’t take the chance that she might incriminate herself.

Knowing the little bit I do now, I’ll never forgive myself for not hearing her out, or rushing to see her that night.

She stands up and declines my help when I get to my feet, and I reach out for her. I think she’s going to run away from me, and I’m fully prepared to pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. My chest aches at the thought of spending one more night without her. I don’t give a fuck about anything other than this girl in front of me.

Her voice cracks when she speaks this time, and that makes it worse. "I have done everything I can to protect you, so I need you to help me out and just stay away. Onyx Dominion thinks we had something to do with Jonathan’s death, and I think whoever broke into my room the night I left is the one who tipped them off. Until I can figure out who that is, we’re sitting ducks."

Without thinking, I reach for her. I don't even know what I'm trying to do anymore. Hold her. Convince myself she's really here. Somehow erase the last few months if I can just get my arms around her for five fucking seconds.

She gasps the second my hand gets close and jerks away from me so quickly that I freeze. Somebody taught Blair Winthrop to be afraid of reaching hands, and the realization hits me so hard I swear I feel something crack inside my chest.

I don't even remember making the decision to move before I'm dropping onto my knees in front of her, looking up at the girl I've loved for so long that I honestly can't remember a version of my life that didn't revolve around her. My hands hover uselessly between us because I don't know if she'll let me touch her anymore, and I don't think anything has ever made me feel more helpless than knowing I can't even brush a strand of hair away from her face without making her flinch.

"Please," I say, my voice quieter than I've ever heard it. "Please just let me hold you. I have fucking missed you so much."

I sound sniveling and lovesick, something I’d never thought I’d equate with myself, but that’s exactly what I am.

Footsteps echo somewhere farther down the aisle, but I never heard the main doors open. The sound is followed by the low murmur of voices drifting through the barn. Blair's eyes dart toward the stall door before she hurriedly smooths her trembling hands over the front of her uniform like something has been unlocked inside her mind.

What has she been through?

"Elijah." Her voice is quieter this time, but there's enough urgency behind it to finally pull me out of my own head. "Please just don’t make this worse. I could have died if you didn’t show up. Whoever ambushed me took my inhaler from me."

A burst of bitter rage floods through my entire body at her words. I knew someone tried to attack her in the stall, but I didn’t realize they took her inhaler.

I was going to kill them either way, but knowing they took her inhaler? I’m going to fucking torture every motherfucker on this campus until I find out who it was.

I push myself to my feet just as another laugh carries through the barn, and she takes one slow breath before looking up at me. I hate this feeling. Any time I was overwhelmed, I could reach over, slide my hand up her back or side so subtly that no one else would notice. Just the very feel of her in my hands would be enough to allow me to calm down and clear my mind.

I need her so much it’s killing me, but that’s not what’s important right now. Clearly the girl I knew just a few months ago isn’t standing here in front of me. She’s always been strong, intelligent, and the one that I trusted more than myself. She’s still all of those things, but she’s been through so much on her own that she doesn’t feel like she can trust or rely on me.

If I want her back, if I want her to trust me, I’m going to have to play by her rules.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t crack some skulls while I’m doing it.

"What about their voice?" I ask carefully, reaching around her the way I would a terrified animal ready to bolt away from me. I slide the stall door all the way open even though there’s plenty of space for her to exit. I peek out to see the lady who manages the barn talking to some girl.

"They never spoke,” she says, “But they had small feet. Maybe I’m used to you and your brothers having giant feet, but they seemed really small.” She swallows hard like her throat is hurting, and I know it's from the asthma attack or maybe the inhaler.

I rake a hand through my hair, forcing myself to think instead of letting my temper make decisions for me. Every Saint on campus owns one of those masks. My brothers and I are the biggest guys on the hockey team as well as in the Saints, which means anyone would look small compared to us. That realization does absolutely nothing to cool the rage taking permanent residence inside of me.

"I'm going to figure out who did this,” I finally say, not wanting to weigh her mind down with my poorly drawn-together thoughts.

Blair studies me for a long second before asking, "Did you get any more notes after I left?"

I shake my head.

"No. But I wasn’t around much. I spent all of my time looking for you, but it was like you fully vanished." I let out a humorless laugh, rubbing a hand across the back of my neck as every dead end from the last few months flashes through my mind. "I lost my fucking mind when I couldn't find you, Blair." I don’t mention how many casualties there were or how my brothers helped me.

For the first time since I found her in Beau's stall, something in her expression softens. It isn't enough to erase the distance between us, but I catch a glimpse of the girl I spent months hoping I'd see again before she lowers her eyes.

"We both made choices, Elijah." Her voice is barely above a whisper. "Now we have to live with the consequences." I know she’s not talking about her leaving or me rushing her off the phone. She’s talking about the night Jonathan died.

Before I can figure out what the hell I'm supposed to say to that, she's already slipping past me. I catch the faint scent of peppermint as she brushes by, and then she's gone, running down the aisle of the barn toward the exit. Everything in me screams to follow her. I want to grab her, pull her into my chest, and hold her until she relaxes. That always worked for me and my little dove. She leaned into my possessiveness, and I reveled in her softness.