Page 60 of Forever My Lass

Madeline woke up and stared at the ceiling. It was Thursday. Today she was leaving her heart behind at Muchalls Hall. Last night at the end of the evening meal, she’d broken the news to the girls. It hadn’t gone well at all. Not even the death of her parents or her grandmother had affected her with such a heartsick savagery.

Grace’s reaction had been one of utter devastation. Like her father, Grace had demanded to know why Madeline was leaving. But Ainslie’s reaction to the news had startled Madeline. The girl had stared at her for a long moment before turning her head toward her father.

Iain’s youngest daughter hadn’t said a word, but the anger on Ainslie’s face as she’d eyed her father with scorn had made him flinch. The girl clearly blamed Iain for Madeline’s decision to leave. She’d tried to make the girls understand they needed a proper governess, but Grace had vehemently rejected Madeline’s explanation.

Ainslie’s continued silence had troubled Madeline, and even Iain seem worried as to his youngest’s reaction to the news. It was as if the girl had reverted into the shell she’d been in when Madeline had first arrived at Muchalls Hall. The fact had almost made her reconsider her decision to leave, but she knew it would be a mistake.

With each passing day, her love for Iain would continue to grow, and the pain of not having him return her love would eventually become more than she could bear. At that point, leaving Muchalls Hall would be even harder on the girls. Seeing their reactions last night had made her want to break down into tears, something she’d avoided until she’d gone to bed. Then she’d sobbed herself to sleep.

Madeline gulped back another bout of tears then slowly climbed out of bed and listlessly went about dressing. She’d chosen to wear what Eileen had referred to as a traveling gown from the trunk someone had pulled out of the water weeks ago when she’d first arrived. Madeline had never understood how the luggage had contained clothing that fit her flawlessly, but over time, just like the mystery of how she’d arrived in the past, she’d simply come to accept it and not question the how or even the why.

Sinking down on the bed, Madeline pulled her shoes on and with the shoe hook, quickly pulled the buttons through the leather slits running up the side. When she’d finished, she sat up and stared off into space. In the back of her mind, she heard a whisper that said it wasn’t too late to change her mind.

She quickly discarded the idea. That was the path to a hell of her own making. With a soft sigh of resignation, she moved to the door. As she opened it, a folded piece of white paper fluttered into the hall. Madeline bent to pick it up and saw her name written in Ainslie’s childish hand. It was obvious the girl had taken great care with Madeline’s name.

Ainslie was always in a rush to finish things, and her handwriting usually reflected that part of her personality. For the girl to write slowly and with care told Madeline how important Ainslie considered the letter to be. Madeline closed her eyes as she hesitated unfolding the paper. Whatever the child had written would most likely bring her to tears. Pushing aside her fear, she slowly unfolded the note.

Madeline,

I love ye very much, and I dinnae want ye tae go. But if ye will nae stay, then I am coming with ye. I ken Faither will try tae stop me, but I will nae let him. I am going tae hide where he will nae find me. I will wait until I know ye have left with Cecil. Then I am going to follow ye on Macklin. Please dinnae tell Faither. He does nae love me, but I know ye love me very much.

Love, Ainslie

“Oh Ainslie,” Madeline whispered, her heart sinking in her breast.

She should have known the child was planning something like this. Ainslie had been far too quiet last night. Fear made her run down the hall, then down the stairs to Iain’s study. Madeline didn’t bother to knock, and as she entered Iain’s private sanctuary, she saw him standing at the window staring out at the North Sea.

The moment she entered the room, Iain whirled around to face her, and Madeline froze at his expression. It was only there for a fleeting moment, but she was certain it had been a look of deep despair. She barely had time to register the thought before a loud sound of anger exploded out of him.

“Why are ye still here? I thought Cecil was driving ye tae Aberdeen,” he snapped coldly.

Iain’s icy manner made Madeline hesitate. She knew Iain loved his daughters deeply, but if Ainslie were standing in front of her father right now, the girl’s belief that her father didn’t love her would only be strengthened. Perhaps she should have gone looking for Ainslie alone. Iain’s harsh oath punctured the air like a crack of lightning.

“I asked ye a question, Madeline.” The sharpness in his voice made her wince.

“It’s Ainslie—”

“If ye have come tae tell me how tae handle my daughter after ye are nae longer here, I dinnae need your advice.”

“She’s gone,” she exclaimed in a voice filled with worry.

“Gone?” Iain grew very still as he stared at Madeline in confusion.

“She left me a note.” Madeline hurried across the room to his side and handed him Ainslie’s short letter. “I should have known she was planning something last night when she was so quiet.”

“Christ Jesus,” Iain rasped in a low voice as the color drained from his face. “She could be anywhere, maybe even halfway tae Aberdeen.”

“No, I think she’s hiding somewhere close by. Close enough to see me…” Madeline’s voice trailed off as she met Iain’s stormy blue gaze.

“Close enough to see you leaving Muchalls Hall.”

The icy words rang out in the quiet of the study as if they were swords clanging against each other in battle. Something flashed in Iain’s eyes that any other time might have sparked hope in her. But his cold, dispassionate reply said she was wishing for something that didn’t exist. Madeline swallowed hard.

“Yes, or at least hiding somewhere close to the manor until she’s certain I’m on my way to Aberdeen.”

“Then I suggest ye leave, and I will search for the lass. She will nae remain hidden for long when she sees ye leaving.”

Iain stepped around her and strode toward the door. Darting after him, Madeline grabbed his arm and tugged him to a halt. The stony, unreadable expression on Iain’s face made her heart clench tightly in her chest. For the first time since deciding to leave Muchalls Hall, she realized Iain couldn't care less that she was leaving. Terrified for Ainslie and furious with herself for being stupid enough to fall in love with a man who didn’t care for her, Madeline glared at him.