Page 72 of The Rogue’s Countess

Although he didn’t mention the couch in the library, she knew it had to have crossed his mind. When she didn’t reply to his comment, Gideon kissed her again then moved to lay beside her. Entwining his fingers with hers, he carried her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

Phoebe closed her eyes again, fearful she might begin to cry at the tender gesture. Tonight had pushed her love for him even deeper into her heart. It created emotions she’d never experienced before. Had he treated his other lovers with such gentle affection as well after bedding them? Had he teased them with the same tender words and caresses? Jealousy twisted its way through her body until her heart ached so badly it became a physical pain in her chest.

Gideon stirred beside her and rolled onto his side. He brushed a lock of hair off her brow before lightly kissing her temple. Tension tightened her muscles at the caress. Despite her attempt not to react, she flinched. Immediately, strong fingers caught her by the chin and forced her to turn her head toward him.

“Look at me, Phoebe.” The command in his voice warned her that he’d sensed her distress. Forcing a smile to her lips, she looked into a pair of gray eyes that had only moments ago been blazing with passion.

“Yes?”

“Tell me what you’re thinking.” The demand twisted her insides with fear. Oh, how easily he could discover her true feelings if she didn’t take care. She breathed a small laugh in an effort to hide her deepest thoughts.

“I’m simply thinking that I agree with you. A bed is far more preferable than a tree.” Satisfied with her reply, Gideon relaxed, and a complacent smile twisted his firm mouth.

“I think I shall enjoy having a wife that is so agreeable.”

“Are you forgetting our agreement?” Phoebe frowned with irritation and a hint of trepidation. “I have no intention of letting you dictate to me, my lord.”

“I’m teasing you, Phoebe,” he murmured. There was a note of indignation in his voice, and she saw the affront that flashed across his face and became a glint of irritation in his gray eyes. “I thought I made myself clear earlier that I would never force you to do something you didn’t want to do.”

Phoebe met his fierce gaze for a moment, then released a sigh and nodded. She turned her head away from him and stared up at the ceiling. Tension radiated off of Gideon, and she winced with regret. Once again, fear had caused her to misjudge him. As she pondered how to heal the small breach between them, a small voice in the back of her mind noted the Chelmsford coronet detailed in the plaster. Swallowing the knot that had formed in her throat, she released a breath of relief she’d not realized she’d been holding in.

“I’m sorry. I am…I know you will keep your word. If you had any intention of doing otherwise, you would not have given me a choice as to entering your bed.”

Silence reigned between them for several moments longer until Gideon’s fingers stroked her brow in a caress that left her floating on the edge of joy and the brink of despair. God, how she wanted his caress to be one of love, not simply the gentle touch of a lover.

“Helstone made your life a living hell.” It was an observation that didn’t demand an answer, but she felt a need to make him understand why she’d given herself to him that night in Montjoy’s gardens.

“Yes. It was why…those few moments in the dark with you…” Phoebe paused as she came perilously close to revealing how often the thought of him had bolstered her spirits for the past five years.

“I’ve always wondered why you were in the garden that night.”

“I was trying to help a friend.”

“By meeting them in a place where only lovers met for clandestine purposes?” There was almost a judgmental note in his question, and she stiffened.

“My friend had been accused of something that would injure him, and I came up with a plan that I was certain would convince others we were in a liaison.”

“And that plan was for the two of you to meet and hope someone found you in each other’s arms.”

“Yes.” Phoebe chose her next words carefully for fear she would reveal Lawrence’s identity. Even if Gideon had heard the rumors as to how different her friend was, she would never betray Lawrence’s confidence.

“I made sure to drop hints to one or two people as to my assignation with someone in the garden that night. I was certain someone would try to discover who I was meeting. I also knew the gossip would spread quickly among the Set.”

“Which is why you thought I was your friend.” At Gideon’s statement, she simply nodded.

“I’d heard voices just before you appeared on the path, so I simply rushed forward without thinking. I thought you were…that you were my friend.” She stumbled over her words as she saved herself from mentioning Lawrence by name. “I had hoped someone would be curious enough to investigate when I greeted you.”

Gideon’s fingers slowly traced a path along the length of his arm. It was a light, innocent touch, but it created a small rush of desire inside her. Dear God, she was like molding clay in his hands.

“But you didn’t leave me when you had the chance. Why?” Gideon’s voice was soft as his hand turned hers over to rub his thumb across the spot where her pulse beat. While his question was understandable, it still sent an icy finger scraping along Phoebe’s spine.

“I’m not sure.” It wasn’t a lie. Initially, she had been confused as to why she’d allowed him to continue kissing her. “At first, I was simply shocked that I hadn’t struggled to be free of you. But after…when we…I’d never been touched like that before. Alfred had always treated me as if…you were somewhat correct when you said it was as if I’d never been kissed before.”

“Christ Jesus,” he snarled softly.

“I was starved for even the smallest amount of affection. The way you…the way you touched me made me feel alive, and I couldn’t walk away. Even if it was only for a few brief moments, I wanted to feel again. I wanted to know desire and the gentle touch of a lover.”

Gideon drew in a sharp breath as her voice died away, and in an abrupt movement, he gathered her into his embrace and held her close. It was such an unexpected gesture of solace that Phoebe struggled to hold back the hot tears pressing at her eyelids. It was one thing to find solace in his arms, but she had no wish to be the recipient of his pity.