Page 72 of Redemption

Chapter 16

Arianna sighed softly as she sealed the envelope of her short note refusing the Viscountess Starling’s dinner invitation. More than four days had passed since she’d bared her soul to Blake. When it became clear he intended to stay at his club, she’d retreated to her aunt’s home. It had been too painful to remain at Sherrington House. Now with each passing day her hope of him seeking her out had diminished to the point of resigned despair.

She closed her eyes to keep tears from streaming down her cheeks. The desolation she’d experienced while being enslaved by Ruckley had been horrible enough. But this was as if her heart had been ripped from her chest. The hole it left behind was one she knew could never be filled by anything other than Blake’s love. Not even her love for Lucy and the rest of her family could compensate for the loss of Blake’s affections.

Quickly wiping the tear off her cheek that had escaped her closed eyelids, Arianna returned her attention to the stack of correspondence on the secretaire. The invitations had increased over the past two days, and she was certain it was because people knew she and Blake were estranged. The Marlborough Set was eager to uncover the reason, but she had no intention of satisfying the gossips. Letter opener in hand, she opened another invitation and proceeded to write a note declining her attendance. When she’d finished, she laid her pen down, her gaze flitting toward the stack still to be dealt with. She wanted to simply throw them onto the fire and be done with the lot.

The thought made her frown. Perhaps she should do what Rhea had done and return to Green Hill House. Impulsively, Arianna swept up the stack of correspondence and sprang to her feet. Without hesitating, she crossed the room and threw the envelopes onto the fire. Flames immediately curled around the formal communications until they burned brightly in the fireplace. Relief swept through her at the cathartic exercise.

It wasn’t until now that she realized she’d already made up her mind to join Rhea in the country. Although her chest ached at her decision, she felt better for having settled on a plan of action. The sound of her aunt’s laughter in the foyer tugged a sad smile to her lips. Beatrice Fremont’s recent news of her plans to marry Lord Foxworth made Arianna happy despite her own miserable situation. But the affection she’d witnessed between her aunt and Lord Foxworth had only served as a reminder of how her own marriage had failed.

The door to the salon opened, and Arianna turned to greet her aunt. Shock rippled through her at the sight of Blake filling the doorway with his tall frame. Behind her husband, Arianna saw her aunt looking at her with an expression of encouragement as she nodded toward Blake. A plethora of feelings crashed over Arianna like the waves in a tumultuous storm as she watched her husband close the salon door. Buffeted by the emotions engulfing her, Arianna pressed her hand into her stomach as her early morning sickness threatened to return.

“Good morning, Arianna.”

Blake’s voice was a deep, sensual sound that caused a frisson to streak across her skin. From the first moment they’d met, his voice had always had that effect on her. Arianna nodded a silent greeting as she studied his face. He looked exhausted. Had he missed her? A small flame of hope flared to life in her chest before she doused it. She was a fool to think he had arrived for any other purpose except to inform her he was seeking a divorce. The thought increased her nausea as she gestured toward the sofa.

“Let me ring for some tea,” she murmured.

“Thank you, no,” he replied.

The awkwardness between them made Arianna wince as she nodded. Blake took a step toward her, and she immediately retreated. It was a reaction born of self-preservation. A dark frown settled on Blake’s brow, and she bit down nervously on her lip at his apparent anger. Anxious to keep some form of barrier between them, Arianna moved to stand behind a chair a short distance away. She wrapped her fingers around the wood trim on the back of the chair and looked at her husband. It was impossible to discern what he was thinking. Uncertainty gripped her and her nails dug into the wood trim of the chair as she clung to the furniture as if it were a life raft in a violent sea.

“Since you have no wish to partake of any refreshment, I can only presume you’ve come to inform me that intend to seek a divorce.” Arianna was relieved to hear her voice didn’t waver as she spoke.

The last thing she wanted to reveal was how devastating his rejection was. She’d lied to him not because she didn’t love him, but because she’d been terrified of losing him. Blake uttered an oath beneath his breath. The indecision on his face startled her. Blake had never shown anything but confidence in everything he did. Resolve replaced his hesitation as he clasped his hands behind his back.

“No, that’s not why I’m here. I’ve come to take you home.”

Arianna’s heart skipped a beat at his words. He’d come for her. In the next instant her heart sank. He’d not uttered one word of love or forgiveness. Simply that he’d come to take her home. The realization made the hole in her chest expand. She could never go back to Sherrington House without his love, his forgiveness—or Lucy. She shook her head.

“I’m quite happy here in my aunt’s house.”

Despite the soft, evenly spoken reply she knew it was a lie. She was miserable except for the time she spent with Lucy. Even then her time with her daughter was bittersweet. The frustration on Blake’s face became a scowl of anger.

“I don’t give a damn if you’re happy or not,” he bit out fiercely. “You’ll pack your things and come home with me today.”

“I beg your pardon,” she stared at him with a growing sense of alarm as Ruckley’s features filled her head.

For years she had been forced to obey Ruckley’s orders to do one vile thing after another. Blake had never commanded her to do anything except when they were intimate. Those commands had been given solely to enhance her pleasure. Not once since they’d met had her husband ever done anything to make her feel as if she was a possession. Until now. A small flutter touched her stomach and a terrible fear swept through her. He’d come for her because she might be carrying his son. Blake was within his rights to take their child away from her, and a tremor rocked through her at the seriousness of her predicament. The horror of losing the baby made it almost impossible to breathe. Just as she had with Ruckley she was trapped with no means of escape.

“Damn it, I didn’t mean it like that.”

“Then what did you mean?” At her cold reply, he grimaced.

“I meant that Sherrington House is empty without you.”

“I’m curious as to how you have reached that conclusion since you no longer reside there, but at your club.” It was impossible to suppress the bitterness in her voice and a look of what might have been pain crossed Blake’s face.

“I deserved that,” he muttered.

There was almost a boyish, forlorn quality to his demeanor as he met her gaze. The impulse to run to him tugged at her, but she resisted. It would be a mistake to do so. Without forgiveness, whatever love he still felt for her would eventually become tainted. Losing his love that way would be far more painful than losing him now. Silence stretched out between them like an invisible chasm. It was a divide so wide she doubted it could ever be bridged. When she didn’t reply to his remark, Blake shoved his fingers through his hair creating a disheveled look that only increased her desire to fling herself forward and into his arms

“I’m asking you to come home, Arianna.”

Still no words of love or forgiveness, but it was impossible to keep hope from streaking through her blood. Would he have asked her to come home if he didn’t care? She pressed one hand against her stomach as the new life growing inside her fluttered again. She experienced another bout of nausea as she realized his only concern might be her child. It would explain why he’d not said he loved her.

“I’m sorry, Blake. I cannot do–”