Page 25 of Ask Another Day

‘It’s just a film, Holly.’

‘I know, but I was so worried.’

‘You’re such an idiot.’ Holly tried to find the humour that would sometimes be present in Sloane’s put downs. But she struggled to find much kindness in her tone these days. Today the absence of any affection in her words, when Holly had been upset, jarred. It didn’t matter she was upset about a film, she’d wanted her friend to understand her.

‘Want anything to eat?’ she asked, as a distraction.

‘I could go for some crisps.’

Holly ducked out of her room and joined her parents behind the bar to raid their snack supplies.

‘Good film?’ her mum asked.

‘Loved it - made me cry though.’

‘Oh I like it when a film makes me cry - tells me I’ve made an emotional connection. Tells me they did something right.’

Holly nodded, ‘Yeah, I guess.’

With her stolen snacks safely tucked against her chest, she made to head back upstairs. It was time for Sloane’s pick for their movie night. When they’d planned this, it had turned out Seb and Sloane hadn’t watched The Departed last month, and although Holly was worried she’d find it too stressful, she’d agreed to watch it.

‘Hold up, Holly Berry,’ her dad said, reaching out his hand as her foot reached for the first step of the stairs.

‘I’ll pay for the crisps, Dad,’ Holly sighed with her eyebrows raised. But he laughed.

‘Don’t worry about the crisps.’ He shifted a little before continuing, which made Holly turn back to face him properly - he was nervous. And he was never nervous. ‘Your mum told me about the uni course.’

Holly’s heart sank. She’d been dreading this conversation. She hated she was making her parents worry about affording something that really wasn’t necessary. ‘It’s too much money, Dad. Don’t worry.’

‘How about if we pay half?’

‘I still can’t afford the other £650 though, Dad. Honestly, let’s forget about it.’

‘Or you could apply to the Prince’s Fund? You’d get £500 towards it,’ he casually dropped the amount in gently, as if he didn’t know how much of a game changer this information was.

At those soft words, hope rose in Holly’s chest. She could afford £150.

‘Your Dad sent the paperwork off yesterday,’ her mum added with a wide smile, ‘hopefully we’ll hear back soon.’

Holly set the crisps down onto the bar and pulled her parents in for a tight hug, feeling so lucky to have them in her corner.

*

Later that night, as Holly got herself ready for bed, she padded over to her window to draw her curtains closed. Just as the fabric came together, the last vestige of the moonlight caught on the pile of envelopes that were tucked into the corner of her bureau. Letters. Holly couldn’t remember the last time she’d written a letter. It was probably a thank you card her parents had made her write for a birthday present. She wasn’t sure whether it was the image of Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock writing to each other in The Lake House, or the fact she was so excited to see Seb next week - but either way she found herself needing to write to him. She wanted to write a letter to tell him all the things she wasn’t able to say to his face. Which was why, instead of slipping under her covers and going to sleep, she pulled out her chair and set to pouring her heart out onto her 120gsm lavender infused paper.

*

The following morning, she woke to her mum gently shaking her.

‘Holly, darling, Sloane’s downstairs. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to see her yet?’

As she rubbed away the last of her sleep, she took in the unspoken message in those words. The real question wasn’t whether she wanted to see her yet, it was whether she wanted to see her at all. She was giving her an out. The movie night had ended abruptly, when Sloane had got a message from her dad and had left halfway through The Departed. Holly’s mum had assumed there must have been some argument, and no amount of denial had sufficed to curb her suspicions.

‘No, that’s alright. Send her up, I’ll just go and brush my teeth so I don’t fog her with my morning breath.’

Her mum nodded. She wasn’t Sloane’s biggest fan. Wasn’t a fan of her at all really. But she didn’t know her like Holly did. She didn’t know how good their friendship could be. What was happening now, was a phase Holly needed to weather. Whilst they’d been watching The Departed last night, it was almost like having the old Sloane back - they’d had fun - until Sloane had upped and left without an explanation. Holly pushed herself out of bed and padded down the hallway to the bathroom.

Five minutes later, she returned to her room to see Sloane at her desk, again. Except this time she’d found something to occupy her.