Page 36 of Bluebell’s Fate

Nathaniel felt as if a rug had been ripped from beneath his feet. His stomach soured, and he looked around frantically to see if anyone had overheard her ridiculous statement. “Mistresses? What on earth are you talking about?” He’d suspected she thought him a flirt—but to keep mistresses? How had she come to that conclusion?

She turned with a sardonic look in her eyes. “I may have grown up in the woods, but I am not dumb. I know that in order for you to kiss me so freely and well, that you had to have had much practice. I know that when a gentleman disappears in the middle of the night, and then pretends he is never gone, they have been enjoying themselves, and I know what happens when a man meets all day with pretty women at an inn.”

She stood up and began walking across the expanse of grass.

Nathaniel knew he should feel chided for the distress he gave her. But, instead, all he could feel was hope. Bell had admitted that she’d enjoyed his kiss!

Yes, Nathaniel had stolen a few kisses in his past. Never without the woman’s consent, however. And never had he allowed his flirtations to go beyond that. So, although he likely had more experience by way of kissing than Bell did, it wasn’t by much. Apparently, she didn’t need any practice at all to completely undo him from the inside out.

He shook his head. Every other argument she had in her arsenal was invented in her overly imaginative mind. The challenge would be proving his innocence. But it was a challenge he would not back down from. Nathaniel found he could not keep a smile from his face as he jumped to his feet to follow after his wife.

Chapter Twenty-three

Bell marched across the spring grass and allowed her anger to roll off of her in waves. She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t watch her husband toy with other women while she sat at home, wondering why she fell so short of what he wanted. Perhaps her godmother would allow Bell to come live with her. She shuddered. That would mean going to London, and she didn’t know if she could face the majority of society in such distress. One thing was certain: she would not go home to Gardner Manor. She refused to go back to her gilded cage: close enough to the woods, but not allowed to live in them.

She heard Nathaniel’s footsteps jogging to catch up to her. Had she not been clear? She didn’t want to hear his excuses.

He fell in step beside her. “Where can we find bluebells?”

“What?”

“Bluebells. Where can we find them? I will wear a crown of bluebells, and then you’ll know the truth: that I don’t chase after women, ever.” He took a deep breath. “Well, unless they are the picture of perfection in a magical wood, but that has only ever happened once.”

Bell’s heart stuttered. He wanted to wear a bluebell crown to prove his innocence? But he didn’t believe in magic, and if Bell was being honest with herself, she was finding it more difficult to believe in magic herself. “We can find bluebells again next spring. They have all died this season.”

“What if I take you to a church? Surely you would believe me if I told you the truth before a vicar?”

The mere idea of uttering what she suspected of her husband in a church made Bell’s ears hot. She shook her head at the ridiculousness and walked faster. “Let’s just try it next year.” The fight left her when she said it. Would she make it at Cairnsby Cottage that long with her heart in this condition? With her anger burned out, she was left empty and hollow.

Nathaniel gently took hold of her elbow and threaded her arm through his. He walked her to the middle of a clump of trees. “I don’t plan on waiting an entire year for you to know that I am a good man, Bell. Please, allow me to explain myself.”

Bell’s throat grew thick. “Fine.”

Nathaniel released her arm, and turning to face her, he set both his hands on her upper arms, making it impossible for her to turn away from him. “I do not toy with women’s hearts. I do not sneak out in the middle of the night to meet with women. I do not go to inns to find pleasure. I never have, and I certainly never will.”

His hazel eyes searched hers, those flecks of gold piercing through her stubborn heart. She wanted to believe him, she wanted to believe that she could respect and care for him, even grow to love him one day. But she didn’t know how. She didn’t know how to trust him when she hardly knew him.

“Bell, when I kissed you in your woods, I thought I was dreaming. I’ve never talked to someone about fairies and magic and believed it to be true. I didn’t believe that a woman as beautiful as you existed.” He leaned toward her. “I thought if I tried to kiss you, you would disappear.”

Bell swallowed, her heart pounding in her chest like a horse running free. She looked at his lips, and then back into his eyes. She had enjoyed that kiss, dreamed of it since that day. Could she experience that amount of bliss again? Did she want to, even if it wasn’t love? Was he pulling her closer to him? She felt her weight shift to her toes, and she closed her eyes. She wanted him to kiss her, to make her forget the war she waged in her mind for just a moment.

But even more than that—she wanted him to love her. “Nathaniel.”

He dipped his head closer to hers and rested his forehead against her own; heat bloomed in her chest. “Yes?”

“I haven’t disappeared.”

He chuckled, a deep rumbling in his chest that was now only inches from her own. “And for that, I’m grateful.”

Bell was so torn. She felt certain that if she wanted to, she could feel his intoxicating kiss again on her lips—but it seemed he was leaving that decision up to her. When it came down to it, Bell wanted to be kissed because she was loved, not just because she was wanted.

She laughed lightly, but it felt hollow. A sadness crept into her bones. Even if she did believe Nathaniel, they were miles away from loving one another. “But I’ve ruined all your plans, and I don’t know where I fit now. I want to make our marriage work, I do. It’s just that I’m still trying to see how everything will settle, and I’m scared.” A traitorous tear slipped down her cheek.

Nathaniel lifted a hand and wiped the tear with the pad of his thumb. He cupped her face, and looked at her like she was a fairy. “I promise, Bell, you have nothing to fear from me.”

Bell lifted her arms around his shoulders and pulled him to her in an embrace. She buried her face into his shoulder, and the smell of cedarwood enveloped her. She took a few steadying breaths while her tears ran free and then finally subsided. Nathaniel was holding her like she was a treasure, like she’d always dreamed of being held, and her fear faded away. She felt she could trust him—she would trust him. Bell slowly turned her head and kissed his stubbled cheek.

She felt his intake of breath, and he tightened his hold on their embrace. It was like magic. And although her husband didn’t believe in it, Bell did, and it felt wonderful.