Page 29 of Bluebell’s Fate

He looked back and read sincerity in her eyes. “Thank you. I have a feeling I’m going to need it.”

He continued to the house, his feet as heavy as if his boots were covered in a thick mud. He trudged through the door, taking the stairs two at a time to get to his room. He only paused to stare at the locked door that connected his room to his wife’s. On the back of the door, he’d hung Bell’s drawing he’d begged from his grandmother. The pictured girl’s delight radiated from her in the curve of her smile and the carefree way she dangled her legs while fairies lifted her heavenward. The sketch was a reminder of what Bell was—a creator of joy. Or at least that was what she had been. How could Nathaniel help her find that feeling again?

He sat at his small desk and scrawled out a letter to his grandmother, begging for her assistance. If anyone was going to help him make his wife happy again, it would be Grandmother Hamilton. Nathaniel was so tired of being angry at himself, and truth be told, he didn’t think he could make Bell happy without his grandmother’s help. He sealed the letter and took it to the kitchen to give to Mrs. Carter.

The smell of onions permeated the air when he opened the door. Mrs. Carter was at the small worktable looking over her notebook.

“Mr. Payne.” She stood and straightened her white cap. “I’m afraid I wasn’t prepared to feed extra mouths tonight. I’ve raided the kitchens from Cairnsby Hall, and I’m making a list of what will need to be restocked. I assure you, this will certainly never happen again.”

Nathaniel put a hand on the housekeeper’s shoulder. “Don’t fret, Mrs. Carter. I’m certain all will be well. You have accomplished more than I have today. I haven’t been able to cross anything off my list. I do have a favor to ask of you: would you post this letter at your earliest availability?”

The motherly figure took the note and looked at the address. “It’s been a long time since we’ve had a visit from your Grandmother Hamilton.” She smiled at him.

“I hope to change that.”

She bobbed her head. “Should I prepare a room for her here, or will she stay at the big house?”

He swallowed. “If it can be done without causing a scene, I’d like to have her here. I don’t want to draw attention to my hopes, especially if she is unable to come, and I don’t want Bell to be disappointed. Besides, my mother will be home in the next week,” he rubbed a hand over his face. “I don’t want her getting upset with my visitor.”

She nodded her understanding. “Of course.”

Nathaniel knew that his housekeeper was true to her word. She knew the fine line he walked with his parents. It was like walking the edge of a cliff; safety ought to be only a step away from the edge, and yet, taking that step felt impossible. Every time he’d tried in the past, he was pushed further and further toward the plunging depths that would separate him from his parents forever. These last ten years, Mrs. Carter had watched him make futile attempts to earn his parents’ approval, and each time, she’d seen him fail. However, Mrs. Carter was like his grandmother in one important way—she was on his side of the battle. “Thank you, Mrs. Carter.”

She cleared her throat. “I think you ought to dress for dinner, sir. It’ll be a fine affair, I assure you.”

He watched her tuck his missive into her apron pocket before he turned away. He had his doubts that dinner would go off as smoothly as his housekeeper hoped.

Chapter Nineteen

Although the dining room at Cairnsby Cottage was quaint, Bell loved it, especially in the evenings. The windows that faced the western horizon added to the allure of the room. Tonight, they showcased a purple sunset with threatening gray clouds off in the distance. Bell could practically smell the rain coming. The deep violet brocade fabric on the chairs matched the scene perfectly. Aside from the enchanting feeling from the decorations, she could count on seeing Nathaniel here each day. He was never late for supper. She turned in a circle, her green gown swaying at her feet, as she looked over her preparations.

Rose hadn’t been very helpful, and Bell suspected it was done on purpose. Somehow, her sister knew that Bell needed the opportunity to perform the role of hostess tonight. Now, if only her nerves would settle before Rose, Frederick, and Nathaniel arrived. She heard footsteps behind her and took a deep breath.

Bell pasted on a smile and turned to see a middle-aged couple staring at her behind Nathaniel’s valet, Wilson.

“You have visitors, Lady Bluebell.” Wilson bowed, motioning behind him, and left the room.

Bell had seen the couple before, likely at the wedding. She dipped a curtsey. “Good evening. What can I do for you?”

The woman held her head high and watched Bell through narrowed eyes. “Where is Nathaniel?”

Bell looked at the gentleman. His gaze was sweeping over the room in a bored fashion.

“Nathaniel will be down shortly.” Bell was feeling the beginnings of panic rise in her chest. Why didn’t she remember who these people were? Ought she invite them to stay for dinner? Would her husband expect or condone the decision? She took a deep breath. With no one to guide her, she needed to act with authority. This was her home now. “We are preparing for the evening meal. Would you care to join us?”

“Certainly.” The woman’s clipped tone put Bell on her guard. “Who else is here?”

“My sister and her husband have come for a visit.” Bell fought the urge to bite her lips. “They will be staying at Cairnsby Hall for a time.”

The gentleman took a large step forward, and Bell shrank back. “What’s this? You’re inviting people to stay in my home? This is beyond ridiculous.”

Bell’s knees began to tremble. How had she not recognized her mother and father-in-law? She’d hardly spoken with them at the wedding. But she searched for the physical resemblance now. Mrs. Payne shared her son’s dark hair, but Bell couldn’t find a trace of Nathaniel in his father. Bell heard hurried footsteps on the stairs.

Nathaniel’s voice allowed Bell to breathe easier. “Bell is not to blame, Father. I made the invitation, as their arrival was unannounced.” Nathaniel strode into the room and came to stand behind Bell. “However, if you would prefer we put them in the blue room here, I can make the accommodation.” Nathaniel put his hands on Bell’s upper arms, and she immediately felt safer. His choice to take his parents’ wrath was unnecessary, but oh, so appreciated. If only she’d remembered her own kin, she wouldn’t be so flustered. She leaned back into his chest, anchoring herself to his kindness.

His father sputtered for a moment, going red in the face. “The blue room?”

Nathaniel’s mother put a hand on his father’s back, silencing him. There was no hint of a smile on her face. “We would be happy to have them at Cairnsby Hall, Nathaniel—for a short time, of course.”