Page 83 of Smitty

Brayden led me to the bedroom, and I crawled into bed while he undressed. Seconds later, he crawled in next to me. We lay there in silence for several long moments, and even with Brayden holding me close, I couldn’t settle my thoughts. The images of his brothers kept going through my mind, and the look on Brayden’s face when he first saw them. It was too much.

I let out a slow breath and shifted closer, until my head was resting on his shoulder. Knowing I was struggling, his arm slipped around me, pulling me closer. I tipped my chin up and brushed my lips against his. That was all it took.

He kissed me back with the same quiet tenderness, and somewhere between the softness of his touch and the warmth of his body against mine, the fear and worry began to loosen their grip. We didn't speak. We just moved with one another. It was soft and tender, slow and gentle, and I'd never felt closer to him.

When we were done, he pulled me close, and I rested my head on his chest and listened to the rhythm of his heartbeat. As I lay there next to him, there was no doubt.

I loved him.

I always had and always would.

The next morning, I woke feeling like a bundle of nerves. As I got dressed, I tried to remind myself that I trusted Brayden and knew he would never do anything to put Anslee or me in danger. That didn’t stop me from holding her a little longer than usual when I pulled her out of her crib.

I carried her into the kitchen and found Brayden standing at the counter, making himself a bite to eat. I put Anslee in her highchair, and I’d just placed a handful of Cheerios on her tray when Brayden announced, “I made coffee.”

“Thank goodness. I’m gonna need all the caffeine this morning.”

“I figured,” he chuckled under his breath.

I started making my coffee, and Brayden used the opportunity to pull a chair in front of Anslee and said, “Whatcha got there, kiddo?”

She grabbed a handful of cereal and offered it to him, and without even thinking, he leaned forward and opened his mouth, letting her shove several pieces inside. He started chomping down and smiled, “Not too bad.”

He tore off a bite from his peanut butter and banana sandwich and offered it to her, “Wanna try mine?”

Anslee grabbed it from his hand and stuffed it in her mouth. Brayden laughed and took another bite for himself, never once looking in my direction. Somewhere between Anslee's giggles and the quiet smile that spread across his face it hit me. He wasn’t putting on a show. He wasn’t trying to prove something. He was simply being Brayden.

Always patient and gentle, even at times like these when he was eager to get to the clubhouse and figure out what was going on with those photographs. But that was Brayden.

He loved without restraint, and it was impossible not to love him right back.

I started putting Anslee’s day bag together, and before I had a chance to catch my breath, we were on our way to the daycare. I barely remember walking through the front door. I passed Anslee over to Janey before kissing her on the forehead and saying, “Have a great day, peanut. I’ll see you this afternoon.”

Sensing something was wrong, her brows furrowed, and she reached her arms out to me, begging me to take her back. “Mama.”

“It’s okay. Mama will be back before you know it.”

I kissed her once more, then rushed for the door. My stomach was in knots, once again. I tried to keep my tears at bay as I opened the door and got back into the SUV. Concerned, Brayden looked over to me and asked, “You good?”

“I’m trying to be.”

“It’s going to be okay. You’ll see.”

Neither of us spoke much on the way to the clubhouse. I spent most of the drive twisting my fingers together, trying my best not to imagine the worst. I was managing, right up until we pulled up to a large, metal gate and two men in leather motioned us through.

When I looked up and saw the clubhouse, my nerves went into overdrive. It wasn’t just some little place where these guys hung out. An enormous building sat behind a ten-foot metal fence that lined the entire property, making it look more like something meant to keep people out than welcome them in.

Motorcycles lined the parking lot, and men wearing Fury cuts moved with quiet purpose. Suddenly, this whole biker world didn't seem nearly as small as I'd imagined. Brayden climbed out of the SUV and walked around to open my door.

He extended his hand to me as he asked, “You ready?”

“Not even a little.”

“I’m right here. I’ll be with you every step of the way.”

“You actually hang out in this place?”

“It’s not as intimidating as you might think.”