Page 28 of Savage Protector

I also wanted to back out of the room without another word. Instead, I asked, “Can I get you anything? Do you want something to drink?”

Without looking my way, he muttered, “Go back to bed. Everything is fine.”

Yeah, it looks that way. How was I supposed to believe him while he sat alone, staring out the window? That was what hurt the most, even if I didn’t understand why. The fact that he was alone. How long had he been that way? Not just tonight, but so many nights?

My heart pulled me closer to him instead of letting me back away. “Why are you sitting here if everything is fine?” I whispered. The night air was so chilly, making me rub my arms as the cold floor seemed to leach the warmth from my body.

“I have a lot on my mind.”

“Do you feel like talking about it?”

“What do you think?“ His jaw tightened, his gaze still fixed. Staring out the window into the darkness beyond. What did he see there?

“Am I in more trouble? I wish you would tell me,” I pleaded softly. “I know something has changed. I’m going crazy trying to figure out what it is.”

“For the last time.” He spoke slowly, deliberately. “Everything is fine. Go back to bed.”

I should have. It would’ve been the smart thing to do. Something wouldn’t let me. It didn’t feel right. “To do what? Lie there all night to wonder and worry?”

“There is no point in telling you because it won’t change anything.”

“You don’t know that. It could help you get through whatever this is. That’s all I want to do.” Couldn’t he see that? He was so damn frustrating. I would have screamed if I thought it would make a difference. “I owe you more than I could ever repay. All I want to do now is help you in any way I can. I’m here to listen to whatever it is. Give me a chance.” Let me in. Let me help you like you’ve helped me.

He kept me waiting, hanging on his every breath until finally his shoulders sank like he was defeated. “I told you about someone in my life who helped me through the dark times. He helped me learn how to be better.”

“I remember.” How could I forget? The entire course of our awkward, charged relationship had pivoted the night he woke me up from that vivid nightmare.

I watched, afraid to breathe in case I ruined the moment. His shoulders rose and fell before he hung his head. “He’s dead. I found out yesterday morning.”

No wonder he freaked out like he did, sounding like a bull had broken into the bedroom. It would have been a lot easier if he had just told me so I wasn’t walking on eggshells all day afterward, but I could understand why he didn’t. “I’m so sorry,” I whispered, knowing it wasn’t enough but also knowing nothing ever would be.

After a moment of silence, he added, “He was murdered. It’s been all over the news out there. I read the articles and gained access to the preliminary police reports.”

It had to be the late hour. My brain wasn’t moving fast enough. When I finally caught up to the horror of what he was trying to tell me, I covered my mouth with my hand. “Oh my God.”

“Aren’t you glad you know?” There was something almost twisted in the way he asked and then snickered like he was laughing at me. “Will it help you sleep better now that you know?”

“But you don’t think⁠—”

“I don’t have to think. I know.” Releasing a shaky breath, he explained, “I was on the phone with your ex before you heard me losing my shit. He didn’t bother denying it.”

“Oh, Grayson.” A wave of real, physical pain ran through me and brought tears to my eyes. “I am so sorry.” It all sounded so empty because it was. Words couldn’t change anything. Dominic had found Grayson’s pain point, and he had pressed hard the way he used to do to me.

“I underestimated him. This is on me.”

“How can you say that? You didn’t do anything.” It was obvious my presence was the last thing he wanted, but that didn’t change anything. I had to comfort him. Why? I had no idea. Maybe because I felt his pain, his loss. Whoever this person was had meant the world to him and had changed Grayson’s life for the better. It broke my heart to think of him sitting here, suffering silently, trying to be stoic while he was crumbling inside, whether he would admit it or not.

I took a tentative step toward him. His sharp intake of breath froze me in place. “Stay away,” he muttered through his teeth.

“But—”

His hands rested on the arms of the chair. I watched them tighten until his knuckles stood out and his arms trembled. “What part of this is so difficult for you to understand? I don’t want you anywhere near me.”

I couldn’t believe he meant it.

Maybe I just didn’t want to believe it.

By the time I reached his side and lowered myself to one knee next to the chair, I was more determined than ever. “I know this is going to sound stupid, and maybe it is, but I felt so much better when I finally opened up and told you about Dominic and my mom. I really did feel lighter. You don’t have to carry everything around inside you.”