Page 25 of Savage Protector

“Why?” It was a stupid question, but also the one ringing out the loudest. Why stop now? I had never wanted anything or anyone more in all my life.

“I tried to tell you.” Now that my vision had adjusted to the darkness, I clearly saw the way his chest and shoulders heaved, and his fists clenched and loosened at his sides. “This isn’t happening. I shouldn’t have done that.”

Does he think he’s being noble? I wanted to tell him not to waste his time, but I couldn’t find the breath. Besides, I was too busy forcing my body to remain still when I wanted more than anything to throw myself at him. I wanted more.

“I’m going out to the couch now,” he announced, still breathing hard. “You’re safe. Go back to sleep.”

That was the last thing I wanted. “Stay with me,” I whispered. His strangled groan told the story of a man fighting with himself. I wasn’t helping. I didn’t care. “Please. Stay here with me. Don’t go back out to the couch.”

Through gritted teeth, he argued, “You don’t know what you’re asking.”

“You don’t have to touch me. I just don’t want to sleep alone. I swear, that’s all it’s about. Don’t make me sleep alone. Please.” Like I wanted to prove my point, I scooted to the other side of the bed, leaving plenty of room between us. It might have been the hardest thing I had to do lately, which was saying something because life had been a series of hardships.

His fists clenched again before relaxing in time with his weary sigh. “All right. If it helps you sleep.”

“Thank you.” My body hummed with anticipation as I stretched out, rolling on my side to face the window. Even though this couldn’t go anywhere, that didn’t mean I could ignore the thrill of the bed shifting under his weight. It would have been the most natural, normal thing in the world to roll over and curl my body around his, which meant I had to fight that much harder against the impulse. He was right. I could see that, even as my body longed for more than the sneak preview his kiss had given me. I couldn’t ask for more for both our sakes.

Funny how I asked him to stay with me so I could sleep since it took forever to calm my racing thoughts and finally relax. By the time I started to drift off, I wondered if he had managed to do the same.

Something told me he hadn’t.

11

GRAYSON

Things were different in the days after the kiss.

There was something freeing in not having to pretend anymore.

The cards were on the table.

We hadn’t spoken of it—the cold light of day made certain topics more awkward. Once one day passed, then another, I decided it made the most sense to forget the whole thing. It seemed like she agreed with me. Aside from a few moments when our eyes would meet and desire uncoiled deep in my gut, we were able to get through the day without repeating the mistake we made that night.

Though it hadn’t felt like a mistake at the time. Nowhere close. Which was what made it that much more dangerous.

How right it felt.

How necessary.

Just as necessary as sleeping next to her at night.

She kept to her side of the bed, and I kept to mine, only reaching out to nudge her when it seemed like she was having a bad dream. Scarlet had them a lot, probably more than she knew. It never took more than a few gentle shakes to pull her out of it. Once or twice, she spoke, and to my surprise, it wasn’t Dominic’s name she mumbled. It was Mom. She was talking to her mother, warning her. Don’t.

It wasn’t my problem. I was here to keep her alive, a job I was succeeding at while my business ran without me. “You keep saying you’re going to go on vacation,” Drake had reminded me when I bitched about being so far away from the action.

Some vacation. Sightseeing and outdoor activities, I didn’t feel safe entertaining any of them. Not for my sake, but for hers. What were the chances Dominic would track us here? Could I afford to take that risk? Until she was safely tucked away in some little nowhere town, living an entirely different life, I would not feel comfortable doing anything even semi-normal.

And then what? What would happen to me with the Garibaldi crew most likely out for blood at their boss’s orders? I could worry about myself when the time came.

A week had passed at the cabin by the time I reached out to Jack on a fresh burner, figuring he might want an update. He was probably waiting for one. I had kept him hanging for too long after we parted ways in the parking lot where, for all I know, Dominic had still been screaming at me for turning my back on him.

As usual, his voicemail picked up. Retired men could afford to sleep in.

“I wanted to give you an update,” I explained, walking the length of the porch and back again. I had my workout outside, wishing for the freedom to go for a run, still anxious at the idea of leaving her alone for too long. I’d settled for chin-ups using a sturdy tree limb, push-ups, burpees, anything I could think of to punish my body into forgetting the feel of her body beneath mine.

“Everything’s going smoothly,” I told him or rather his voicemail. “Nothing to worry about. It’s actually sort of domestic in a twisted way. We could be on vacation. I can see why you always talked about wanting to retire out here. Of course, nothing is restful about it, and I’m ready to tear the walls down with boredom, but things could be worse.”

Scarlet was in there, behind the closed door. Like it was that easy to shut her out. I glanced into the cabin on my way past one of the two windows looking over the porch. She was in the kitchen, her ponytail swinging while she wiggled her hips to a vaguely familiar, catchy pop tune she was whistling. Hips I longed to hold onto while taking her hard, fast.