Page 52 of Once Written in Gilded Blood

Kalel shoots me an unconvinced look as we continue heading toward the village. “What makes you think they will want peace for the living? I doubt they ever achieved it in their time. Just look at us now.”

“We can try.”

He firms his lips and gives me a short nod. His eyes are dull and unfocused. It’s been a long time since he’s had any blood.

Does he still need to feed even though we’re in Mortem?

Kalel’s stomach lets out a loud growl, and he clutches at it, cheeks reddening. He must see the worry burning in my eyes because he grunts, “I’m fine.” He clears his throat and walks steadily ahead.

My brows knit and I cross my arms, a little annoyed that I was worried in the first place. “Good, because I wasn’t offering.” I turn my face the other direction and barely catch his surprised breath at my comment.

“No need to assume that I was asking,” he retorts, sounding more sarcastic than I’ve ever heard him.

For some reason, that irritates the hell out of me. I can’t keep my eyes from shifting toward him. His gaze meets mine, and I realize that he’s trying to push my buttons on purpose. A wry grin is tugging at the corners of his lips, and he chuckles.

“You’re always so quick to fight, little godling.” His smile is genuine and so entrancing that I lose my train of thought for a moment. It’s nice to see him smiling without the burdens of our lives.

“It’s not so hard when it’s you,” I tease and give him a small shove.

He trips on a clump of tangled grass and goes down for the count. Popping his head back up and glaring at me with a playful smile. “Oh, now you’ve done it.”

I let out a scream as he quickly rises to his feet and chases me down in the field. His arms wrap around my midsection, and we tumble into the grass together. Laughter bubbles up from my chest, and Kalel’s chuckling as he looks up at me. I’m lying on his chest and trying to sit back up, but he keeps his hold tightly around my waist. I take him in, his mussed hair and blades of grass stuck in his shirt. The scent of sweetness in the air and the warmth of this place melt the ice around my heart.

His amber eyes widen as he realizes how close we are, but he doesn’t pull away. Neither do I. We stare at one another, my hands pressed against his chest and heart beating at an irregular pace.

Kalel lifts his hand to my face and plucks a strand of grass from my hair as he whispers, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you laugh like this before.” His gaze is both awed and filled with melancholy. “How I wish I could go back and spend my time with you differently. How I long to change the man I am, and be the one who makes you laugh like this. Forever and ever.”

He traces my features delicately, smoothing his thumb over my bottom lip like he craves to taste one more kiss.

“We can’t go back…but maybe it’s not too late,” I murmur, leaning down and threading my fingers through his. His pupils dilate with my closeness. “We don’t have to be what they made us.”

Kalel stares at me, eyes narrowing as he nods. “If we make it back and put an end to all of this. I’m done being a knight, a duke, the Blood Knight. I want to be…me. I’m not a violent man, I don’t want to hurt anything else for as long as I live.”

A smile crests my lips. “Me neither.”

I take a deep breath and move off him. He follows the motion and sits up beside me. We sit in the tall grass, looking over this small sliver of Mortem and the village in the distance.

Kalel breaks the silence between us first. “Everything I did to wrong you was before we knew each other, little godling. It was before I realized who you were to me.”

When I don’t reply right away, he turns his head and looks at me.

I pick at some grass around my feet, a habit I thought I grew out of a long time ago. But I can’t remember the last time I sat in a field with someone and felt this good.

“The curse was before you knew who it was, but you could have told me after you found out. If you had told me in the room right when we met, all of this would have been different.” I catch myself. “Well…maybe not. Maybe if you told me about the gardens, though. How many of the demigods buried in your garden were put there by your hand? How many of them suffered at the end of your blade?” I lift my hands and stare at them. Wondering how many demons I’ve slain.

“Too many.”

I jolt, looking at him in shock because I didn’t expect him to admit it.

“Too many… I regret every one of them. There’s not one night that I sleep peacefully. And now that I know I was never even meant to live past that night my uncles died…I wonder how much life I’ve taken in return to balance out my existence.”

An ache grows in my chest. Venus said that he was never meant to grow up. The devourer’s bloodline would’ve ended with him that night. I can’t imagine what that must feel like.

I set my hand on top of his.

“None of this is fair…but I will selfishly admit that I’m happy you are here, Kalel. I cannot imagine a world that does not have you in it.”

He looks at me with a surprised expression for a few seconds before offering a small smile.