Page 7 of The Secret Dinner

“Like four hundred pounds, give or take.”

I knew she was going to give up right then and there. Cora propped her elbows on the table and brought her face closer to mine. She moved her tongue around so the mint clicked against her teeth. Her breath smelled like menthol and fried garlic.

“Look, Dante, here’s the thing, ordering an escort is like ordering a pizza. There’s delivery, there’s à la carte, there’s all-you-can-eat. If you want extra cheese, you have to pay extra. A street hooker is like Domino’s, lots of people eat it and it’s pretty filling. I used to be like that, now I’m gourmet, with stuffed crust. A pizza for a big person has to be bigger, to satisfy their cravings. Bigger is more expensive.”

“How much more?”

“Five hundred. And it’s no use arguing. That’s just the way it works. For a fat person, five hundred. For gringos, I charge a thousand. Do you know how much a Coke costs in Europe? Twenty reals with the exchange rate. Can you believe it? Twenty! For a Coke?! That’s why my rate is different. I charge foreigners more because they make more, then come here thinking they can have cheaper soda.”

“No problem.”

She grinned like a child. She glanced at her empty plate and lined up her cutlery. “So, does this Piglet guy know what you’re getting him?”

“It’s a surprise.”

“Let the poor guy know. Buy some condoms, lube, and all that. I only bring the body, the talent, and the confidence. You pay for the taxi. If there’s any problem, you still have to pay me, okay?”

I thought about the four P’s of marketing: product, price, place, and promotion. I thought about Five Steps to Success and The Modern Man’s Handbook. Cora was like us, she’d come from a small town to try to make a living in the big city. But from the looks of it, she was actually succeeding. She was persistent, strategic, focused, self-confident, and persuasive.

“There won’t be any problems,” I said. “He’s a nice guy. He’s got a few religious hang-ups, but not all the time.”

“I don’t get all that. For me, the Bible’s like the Amazon search bar: I only open it to place an order.”

We agreed that she should get to the apartment around five o’clock on Monday, when Miguel, Hugo, and I would all be at work. That way, they’d have a couple of hours on their own to fool around. Cora jotted down the address and my number. I paid the bill with the cash I had in my wallet. She stood up exuberantly, attracting the attention of everyone in the room, and took me by the arm again like I was her lapdog. We walked arm in arm until we reached the Chinese restaurant around the corner.

“Your friend’s going to love his gift. And for you, to pay you back for lunch, you’re entitled to a blowjob whenever you feel like switching teams.”

Cora gave me a kiss on the corner of my mouth then disappeared toward the beach.

[Letter]

Rio de Janeiro, September 20, 2022

Hi Mom,

How have you been? Do you believe in love at first sight? Sorry to cut right to the chase, but I need to talk to someone, and who better than my own mother? I know you didn’t always have the best time with Dad, but try to think back to when you two first met, before he ran off and everything. How did he make you feel? Was it love?

At yesterday’s service, Pastor Sérgio said a prayer for my birthday, and they all sang. I’m really well-liked within the community and I’m realizing that has boosted my morale, really made me excited about the path God has in store for me. After all these years in the big city, I know I can be thin and get a good job in IT. I know I can be happy, you know? I feel at home.

At the end of the service, he pulled me aside and said a lot of nice things to me, like that he loved me like a son, and I took the opportunity to talk a little about you, about my upbringing, what made me who I am today. The pastor said he wanted to introduce me to a girl he also considered like a daughter, an honest and decent girl from an upstanding family, who attended church whenever she could. I was a little embarrassed, but he didn’t even wait for me to answer, he brought the girl over and, wow, she was gorgeous. Mom, you have no idea. Her name is Cora and she smiles like I’ve never seen anyone else smile. She studies literature and keeps very busy teaching English. She’s kind and shy and she loves poetry. She recited a poem to me by Cora Coralina, do you know her? She’s a poet from Goiás who began publishing her writing when she was pretty old, like in her seventies. A simple woman who made a living selling sweets. I googled her. And I even downloaded some of her books to read. I want to impress Cora, you know?

I’m in love, that’s the honest truth. We talked a little inside the church while Pastor Sérgio said goodbye to the other congregants. Then he invited us to dinner at an Italian restaurant nearby. I think Cora enjoyed my company, too. I talked a lot about home, about you and about Bishop Lygia. She wanted to know about my time here in Rio de Janeiro and I told her a little about my degree and the diet I was on that got me down to 215 pounds. She said she likes that I’m chubby and I think she’s the first person to not make fun of my name, which just goes to show what a nice girl she is.

After dinner, Pastor Sérgio went home, but I didn’t want to say goodbye to Cora and I asked if she’d like to go for a walk with me along the beach promenade. We walked side by side. I wanted to take her hand, but I didn’t want to seem disrespectful. We sat at a kiosk, ordered coconut water, and chatted for I don’t even know how long. We were made for each other. I didn’t even need to kiss Cora or touch her to know, just hearing her speak in that quiet and humble way of hers was Heaven enough for me. When we finally said goodbye, I held her hands, which were warm and gave me this peaceful, comfortable feeling. I kissed her on the cheek and smelled her minty scent. I think I need to gather the courage and ask Cora to be my girlfriend. I want to live with her, have kids with her. Do you think I’m moving too fast?

She was a birthday gift from the Lord. The guys here at home gave me Blu-rays, as always.

God bless you.

With love,

Leitão

SECRETDINNER.CO

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We toasted in 2023 on the Copacabana beach, among the throngs of people watching New Year’s Eve fireworks, jumping the customary seven waves for good luck, and exchanging messages of peace and love. Hugo cooked a special dinner—smoked pork loin with orange sauce, rice with lentils, turkey au jus de raisin vert, and cod confit with cream. Every year was the same: He’d suggest the menu and make a list of ingredients (always top quality), and we’d split the cost four ways, even if I was bringing a date or Miguel was with his girlfriend, who just picked at her food like a bird and always left Hugo insulted.