Page 38 of The Secret Dinner

“Is she dead?”

There was no tremor in her voice. She spoke like someone conducting scientific research. Cora came closer, twirling the key to our apartment on her index finger, and bent down to smell the corpse’s skin.

“What are you doing here?” I asked. “And where did you get that key?”

When she finished doing whatever it was she was doing, she walked over to Piglet and planted a kiss on his cheek.

“Love Nugget and I are in a serious relationship,” she said.

“Huh?”

Piglet gave us his I-fucked-up-but-so-what face. The same one as when he told us he’d blown all our money on sex, when he’d bragged about posting a human dinner party online, and when he’d emailed all those people confirming the event. Unfortunately for me, I’d been seeing that face a lot lately.

“We’re in love. I gave her a spare key.”

Hugo let go of the rope, which slipped quickly through the hooks with an irritating screech. The corpse slammed to the ground.

“Wait, are you the fucking bitch who got us into this mess?”

Piglet positioned himself next to his girlfriend, ready to fight for her, but she didn’t need anyone to defend her.

“Fucking bitch? Not sure. My name is Cora,” she said, blowing a kiss. “Now will someone please tell me why there’s a dead body in the living room.”

“You explain,” I told Piglet, and he began to speak.

Cora sat in the armchair, crossing her long legs and following along attentively while Piglet told her everything. She didn’t blink, didn’t shudder, didn’t startle, wasn’t shaken at all. When he came to the end of that string of absurdities, Cora just ran her hands through her hair and smiled. “You guys are doing it all wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you want the best-quality meat, you have to drain the animal’s blood, before it all coagulates.” Cora kneeled down on the sheet and felt around on the corpse’s bare thighs. “If the abdomen’s gone green, it’s because decomposition has already set in. Then it’s too late. How long has she been dead?”

“Five, six hours, more or less.”

“What did she die of?”

“Internal bleeding.”

“The blood’s left the muscle, at least. Natural exsanguination. I think I can help you,” she said. “But I want ten percent.”

Hugo was furious. “Now this whore wants to squeeze another three thousand out of us!”

“You’re good at math, I’m good at butchering.”

“The only reason we’re in this mess is because of you! The right thing to do would be for you to give us our money back. That fatass over there blew it all on you!”

“Stop complaining! I did my work. I earned that money.”

“We should string you up next to the old hag!”

“Hey, nobody touches my girl!” Piglet interrupted.

“I can do the butchering myself, okay?” said Hugo, sounding completely unsure of himself. “I don’t need you!”

She rolled her eyes, moving her gaze from the corpse to me, to Piglet, and finally to Hugo.

“You sure about that? You guys seemed pretty fucked when I got here…”

“The last thing I need is some whore trying to teach me something!”