Page 152 of Bound By Fury

“Since you came back, everything is so much clearer. I love you, just as I always have. Maybe even more so. I know you’re not ready to let go of the past, but I am, and the only future I want to exist in is with you.”

I’m shaking. Unable to differentiate between justice and revenge. But it’s clear to me that whatever remains between us isn’t love of any kind.

Besides, even if what he’s saying is true, how could I ever forgive him for keeping this from me? Part of me wants to end the call. Cut him out of my life just like they did to me. But beneath that, I know that if I want my plan to work, I’ll need his help.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says, and my chest squeezes painfully.

“No, it’s okay. I’m glad you’re telling me this. I’ve spent all semester wondering what changed between you. Wondering what I was missing.”

“They have him brainwashed, you know. I try to remind myself of that. He wouldn’t choose this if he could help it. And I could—or maybe I could understand, on some level… why he would want power of his own, after everything. His dad never treated him with respect, never saw him as an equal. He was never going to live a life where he could stand on his own or have his own inherent value, not with Uncle Jo constantly tearing him down. And you know his mom wasn’t any help either.

“Once they were gone, and Lexie was gone, and he was broken… I mean, maybe it makes sense that he could fall so easily into it all.”

“Sure,” I sigh, and I want to believe it, I really do, but there’s a piece of the puzzle still missing. “You said your dad told y’all about the hunters.”

“The Guardians,” he nods.

“So does that mean he’s a part of this as well?”

It seems obvious, but I want to know what Lucas has to say.

It’s not what I expect.

“Are you kidding?” he scoffs. “He was warning us. He was disgusted by what Uncle Jo was doing. This legacy he was born into. My dad has spent so much of his career trying to make amends for all the pain the society has caused, but Kai has fallen too far into their bullshit.”

Lucas has had all this time to tell me what was going on. And he didn’t.

But aren’t I also guilty of so, so much?

“Why didn’t you warn me?” I ask quietly.

His voice breaks when he speaks. “I just—I didn’t know what to do. How to toe the line between warning you and scaring you away for good. I didn’t want to lose you. Not to the Guardians, and not because you left and never came back…”

I’d thought that maybe there was a future where Lucas and I could build something separate from summers, from Malachi and Earnest and the past that haunts us. I thought that even if it might never spark like stars against my cheeks, that it could still be good in its own way. Still more than enough to build a life on.

But now after everything, there is nothing left of me beyond the determination to save my people, to avenge my ancestors, and to reclaim what is rightfully ours.

To that end, what Lucas did or didn’t know and for how long doesn’t matter. Not if he’s loyal to me and not them. Not if he’ll do what I say.

And if there’s one thing Lucas has always wanted, it’s to be truly needed and valued. To feel as though he is irreplaceable.

When I tilt my face down, my eyes landing on the table in contemplation, he catches a glimpse of the dried blood trailing down my cheek, half washed away by the rain.

He winces. “Look at me,” he says, lifting his sleeves and showing his arms. “You know that I’m not like them. I’m not like him. I don’t have the mark. I’m adopted, Harper, you know that. I don’t share blood with him, and I don’t share morals with him either.”

I shake my head, closing my eyes to conjure more than the low-simmering rage inside my chest.

“I know that,” I say.

“So what are you gonna do? ’Cause running won’t fix this,” he says, bitterness tainting his words. “When has running ever solved anything? These people are animals, Harper. They’re monsters. For all we know, you’d run, and they’d enjoy the chase.”

“You’re right.” I sneer at the mere thought of them hunting me. “I’m not running.”

“Okay,” he says solemnly as his eyes fall to something in the distance, and silence stretches uncomfortably between us.

I hesitate before I speak. Before I drag him even further into all this.

“Lucas,” I whisper, the air around me taking on an electric weight.