I hold Winslow with my eyes closed. Nothing
has changed. Knox is still here, in arm’s reach,
but it still feels like something is ending,
a way of being that felt endless
until just now.
Knox The Not-So-Great Deceiver
I watch Sylvie as she naps
in the back of the van, or pretends
to. Her eyes don’t flit
like feeding minnows behind
the thin skin of her eyelids the way
they would if she were
actually sleeping, the tempo
of her respiration not quite right.
I’ve known practiced deceivers
in my life. People who lie so easily
even the rhythm of their breath
doesn’t betray them.
Sylvie isn’t one.
Knox
Sylvie rouses in the back and sits up, bleary-eyed, stroking Winslow’s belly absentmindedly. Maybe I was wrong and she really was sleeping.
“Feel better?” I ask.
Sylvie does a sort of side-to-side head motion that’s neither a shake nor a nod. It’s answer enough. Then she says, quietly, “Sorry for putting you through that.”
“There was a lot of chopped cilantro but it was really good otherwise.”
She laughs a little—more a puff of air expelled from between her lips. “My mom’s a trip, huh?” She says it to Winslow, but it’s clear the question is for me.
“I never know what to say when someone asks me something like that. I don’t know if you want me to defend your mom or agree.”
“So it sounds like either you secretly agree and could defend my mom, or could just skip right to agree.”
“Would you believe me if I told you I’ve known a lot of people who were trips in the short time I’ve been alive?”
“My mom is a special kind.” Throughout this conversation, Sylvie hasn’t looked at me once.
A long silence unspools between us.