Page 86 of Mutual Discord

“Upset?” She pursed her lips as her head tilted to the side. “Why would I be upset?”

Raising my brows, I ventured, “Because you and Alex are dating.”

Caitlin and Alex jerked their heads back in unison and exchanged a perplexed look.

“Uh, no we’re not,” Caitlin said.

An unexpected lightness settled over me, leaving me breathless. “But…you went on a coffee date—”

“Yeah, we did. But I think we both realized very quickly that we didn’t click in that way.” Caitlin glanced at Alex, who nodded. “And he’s so obviously your type, so when he said he was moving to Phoenix, of course I had to get you two together.”

My gaze flew to Alex, who stared intently at me, his expression frozen.

“So that first night when you came to dinner”—I clenched my eyes closed, remembering the moment Alex met my gaze across the crowd—“you weren’t a couple?”

“No. Never.” Caitlin leaned back in her chair, deep grooves cut between her brows. “So this whole time you thought Alex and I were dating?”

Sneaking another look at Alex, who had dropped his gaze to the tabletop, I nodded.

Caitlin’s brows disappeared into her hairline. “But…but that didn’t stop you from starting something with him?”

Why was my heart still beating? Why was it not freeing me from this nightmare instead of thudding painfully in my chest?

From the corner of my eye I saw Alex turn toward me, and when I peeked at him, his lips were pinched.

“So Christmas, and everything after, happened even though you thought I had a girlfriend?” His shoulders dropped when I jerked my head. “How could you think I would do that to someone I was in a relationship with?”

“I…I…” Glancing madly about, I could think of absolutely nothing to say. The snapshots of our moments together in the months since Alex had moved to Phoenix unfurled like a movie reel in my mind. Suddenly Alex’s behavior toward Caitlin came into focus. How he rarely spoke of her. How guilt never clung to him like it clung to me when we were together. Alex had never outright indicated he and Caitlin were in a relationship, so why had I so easily believed they were a couple?

As I struggled to understand my thoughts, standing there mutely, Alex sighed, long and weary. Without a word, he turned and left the room. I stared silently at the spot where he’d stood, blinking back tears, my chest empty and aching.

“Sofia, what is happening?”

Slowly I turned to look at Caitlin. My friend gaped at me.

I shook my head, still unable to give voice to my thoughts.

“Yes, Alex and I went on a coffee date. One coffee date, and that was it. After speaking with him, discovering his interests and the things that are important to him, I thought of how good he would be for you.” Caitlin threw up her hand. “And he was already moving to Phoenix? It was perfect!”

It was perfect. Alex was perfect. For me. And I had fucked it all up.

“Sof,” Caitlin began, nibbling on her bottom lip. “Would you really cheat with a guy I was dating?”

“Alex isn’t just any guy,” I whispered hoarsely.

Caitlin expelled a long breath and rose from the table. After depositing her empty mug in the sink, she snagged a banana from a bowl of fruit on the counter and paused next to me.

“I’m exhausted, so I know I’m not thinking clearly, but…this was fucked up.”

“I know,” I managed.

Caitlin’s blue gaze skimmed over my face. “We’ve both dated our fair share of fuckboys, so maybe you didn’t realize what you had. But my God, Sofia, don’t throw away your chance to be happy.”

A sob snared in my throat, threatening to choke me.

“Let’s talk more later, okay?” Caitlin laid her hand on my arm and then disappeared in the direction of the guest bedroom.

For several long moments, I stared at my closed bedroom door. Should I go in there and…What? Obviously apologize, but for what exactly? Doubting his integrity? Making assumptions? All of the above?