Page 90 of Full Throttle

She was quiet for a moment. Long enough that she wondered if Dominic was hurt, although it was almost impossible to tell with him. She had the sense that he’d spent so long shoving down his feelings that they’d hardened into sedimentary rock. You’d need a drill to excavate.

Dominic’s gaze was steady. “Are you ashamed to be with me?”

“Of course not,” Juliette said quickly. So he was hurt. But at least he’d told her, in his own roundabout way. “You’re brilliant and handsome and incredibly talented. Not to mention that you make a delicious coq au vin.” She was joking, but he didn’t smile, so she nudged his shoulder. “I’m proud to be with you.”

Dominic waited. “But?”

“But…” She pulled a pillow over her chin. “I’m not there yet. And I don’t know when I will be. Is that okay?”

He rolled onto his back, absorbing this, and a pang of guilt filled her. It was a conversation they’d had a million times before, although she was no closer to an answer. When would she be ready to go public? When she graduated the academy? When she drove a Formula 1 car? Truthfully, she didn’t know. And she couldn’t ask him to wait forever.

Dominic lifted her hand and kissed her palm. “Okay. New plan. Fly to Paris, and I’ll show you off to absolutely nobody, except for maybe my houseplants.”

A pang of relief filled her. “That sounds nice.”

“And come to Zandvoort too.” Clearly anticipating her reluctance, Dominic added, “We can take my private plane. Nobody has to know. I promise.”

Juliette hesitated. It was still a big risk. There would be cameras everywhere. But if it made him happy…

“Okay.” She squeezed his hand. “I’m in.”

At the time, Juliette could recall believing it too. She’d had faith that they could avoid the cameras. She’d held that summer in her cupped hands like a glittering, golden bubble: It was something just for them.

Neither one knew that she’d never make it to Zandvoort.

Chapter 29

Bad Idea

Now

Juliette had never imagined that she’d be willing to set foot in Dominic Hastings’s flat unless it was to murder him. Then again, she’d never imagined that she’d be begging him to sleep with her either, so today was full of surprises.

To his credit, Dominic didn’t look fazed; he was watching her closely, as if considering how serious her request was. His eyes were the color of starless skies, and his grip on her neck had tightened almost subconsciously. He wants me, Juliette realized, and her heart sped up.

“This is a bad idea,” Dominic murmured.

She shrugged. “I like bad ideas.”

Dominic rubbed at his tattoo. Juliette’s gaze lingered over the hard, swirling lines, the spray of lavender in front of stone. That was very Dominic, she thought; he wanted to tear beauty from the world and carry it around with him, like a crumpled tissue in his pocket.

“Is that a no?” she asked.

“Marchmont.” Dominic’s voice was a warning. “I didn’t ask you here for this.”

Her heart hammered. “Just this once.”

Dominic looked away. “You’re testing me.”

“To get it out of our systems.”

“We tried that,” Dominic murmured. “I can’t say it worked for me.”

“Tell me you don’t want this,” Juliette said, “and I’ll stop.” She was standing close enough that she could see the pulse jumping in his jaw. See the patch of stubble that he missed when shaving. “Say it.”

Dominic closed his eyes. “Marchmont…”

She cupped his face. “Say it.”