Page 11 of The Best I Never Had

Without another word, he walks back into the restaurant, and my eyes trail him of their own accord.

“He’s right,” I mutter to myself. “This is fine. Everything will be fine.”

I take one last breath before forcing myself to march back into the restaurant, wholly unprepared for what’s to come.

Chapter 4

THEA

I’ve had plenty of rock-bottom moments in my life. Like the time I got back together with an asshole ex-boyfriend because I needed a place to stay. Or when the top three buttons of my uniform blouse popped open at work and no one had the balls to tell me my boobs were out for half my shift. I thought accidentally flashing a bunch of families would be my lowest point. Face in the dirt. Nowhere else to go.

But the universe had apparently decided rock bottom wasn’t enough for little old me, and chose instead to push me through the Earth’s crust and boil me in hot magma made of my own embarrassment and shitty decisions.

The Earth’s core is a bathroom in the Blue Ridge Mountains, where I stand, stripped down to my bra and hole-filled shapewear, with streaks of blue icing in my hair.

My once beautiful dress is half soaked under the stream of warm water. I stare at the red fabric, realizing I should have googled “how to clean stains on silk” before sticking it in the sink. Now my dress is 50 percent covered in cake, 50 percent drowned in water, and 100 percent ruined.

I also now realize I should have gone to the car for a change of clothes before stripping. I wonder how people will react if I walk through the front of the restaurant like this. And will Addy bail me out of jail after I’m arrested for public indecency?

Behind me, a sliver of the bathroom door opens, and Addy’s head peeks around just as she says, “You in here, Tia?”

I hate that I just arrived, and I’ve already brought out Addy’s worried voice. It’s the same one she used at seven when she brought me frozen peas to ice my first black eye from a fight with our much bigger foster sister. Or at nine, while she petted my hair as I cried over losing my first job as a cashier because while shopping there may have been a pleasure, I apparently was not. Or at ten, when she listened to me rage about the boy I thought loved me, who promptly followed up taking my virginity with Come on, babe, you know this is just fun. In retrospect, my baby sister didn’t need the details on that one.

I watch her expression closely as she comes inside, letting the door swing closed. Her strong brows are wrinkled, and she slips a hand over her mouth as her eyes track the dress in the sink, then my mostly exposed body, and up to the blue streaks in my hair.

She removes her hand, opening her mouth to say something, but instead a wild laugh bursts out of her, so forceful she drops back against the door. Relief courses through me. This situation is a disaster, but at least she’s not upset with me. And I love this laugh, the free, genuine sound that’s pure joy and amusement. None of the forced levity she puts on for others.

She wipes at her eyes. “I’m”—another laugh—“Oh my god”—the chuckles swirl around us—“I’m so sorry. I can’t stop.”

I twirl away from her, showing off the pièce de résistance, matching holes on the middle of each butt cheek. “You think that’s funny, look at my ass nipples.”

She devolves into laughter again, and I brace myself. Wait for it … wait for it …

Her blasting snort echoes off the bathroom tile, and a satisfied smile splits my face. That snort has been my guiding light for years, the ultimate sign that Addy is happy, amused, and, most important, comfortable. I hope Harrison pulls out her snort, even as a selfish part of me hopes it’s something that will remain mine alone.

Addy walks over, wiping the last of the tears from the corners of her eyes, then wraps her arms around my waist from behind. She’s so much shorter than me that I can’t see her face in the mirror, but I feel her cheek against my shoulder blade, the way her love twines around my heart the same way her arms twine around my body.

“You okay?” she whispers.

“I’m fine,” I say, having to clear my throat to get the words out as I shimmy out of her embrace to face her. “And you’ve been patient, so hit me with your questions.”

She looks a bit sheepish, but then dives in. “What the heck is going on?”

I lean back against the counter and take a steadying breath, preparing to lie to my baby sister for the first time in my life. We agreed when we were young that if we could only count on each other, we had to really count on each other. No lies.

But if I tell her the truth, it’ll go one of two ways. Either she’ll demand we come clean, and the rest of the week will be spent with people gossiping and making Addy feel like she’s not welcome. Or she’ll agree that keeping up the ruse is best, and she’ll spend her wedding stressed about the truth coming out. I’ve taken so much from her over the years, and I won’t take this moment, too.

“Owen and I dated,” I say.

She blinks like I just told her the Earth is a tiny ball sitting in a giant’s hand. “You and Owen? Clean-cut, serious Owen?”

Indignation shoots through me. I know who I am, but her utter shock feels like an insult. “Is that really so unbelievable?”

She lets out a little chuckle. “I mean, you aren’t the first people I’d put together.”

I huff. “Yeah, well, we did.”

“Oh, come on. I didn’t mean it like that!” Addy says. “How don’t I know about this?”