Page 18 of Ship Happens

“Nauseated, excited, scared, terrified,” she replies, looking down at her stomach.

“Those last two were synonyms.”

“Smart-ass.” She shoots him a glare, lips spreading into a smile. Then, Kaitlyn tucks into herself, her hands under her armpits as she bounces on her heels. “What were you and Jacob talking about? In the kitchen earlier.”

Owen pauses, flicking ash away. “It was nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Come on, Owen.” Kaitlyn eyes him, huffing dramatically.

“It’s nothing, I swear—we’re being civil!” Owen holds up his hand like he’s swearing an oath. All while he lies through his teeth. “And don’t change the subject! We were discussing you.”

For a beat, Owen’s left to stare at her, then Kaitlyn starts to shake her head.

“What?” he asks her.

“You’re ridiculous.”

Owen shrugs. “I’ve heard worse.”

“Sorry about the cruise.”

“Ah, see. Now that I’m open to discussing.”

“I thought about asking Abigail what we should do,” Kaitlyn continues. “If we shouldn’t invite one of you or the other, but we were already going to miss out on Hailey and Ravi being there.”

“Kait, it’s okay.” Owen forces the friendly tone to his words. “Besides, a cruise with just Jacob and Kevin would be pretty lousy.”

“Yeah . . .” Kaitlyn giggles. It’s a strained sound. “You’re not angry at me, right?”

“Don’t you think you’d know if I were mad at you?”

“It’s hard to tell sometimes. You’re usually pretty emo and broody.”

“Am not!”

“You spent most of tonight alone in the kitchen with your headphones on,” she reminds him, like he didn’t live the last six hours.

“I didn’t have my headphones on,” he corrects, unable to deny the rest of Kaitlyn’s allegations. “I don’t know if I want to go.” He imagines deciding that he can’t take it, telling Kaitlyn and Abigail that he’ll stay in San Francisco, have a week all to himself while he watches his best friends have the time of their lives on an Alaskan cruise.

Kaitlyn’s face sinks immediately. “What? No! Come on, dude!”

“I’m just not sure,” he tells her. “You know I’m not a huge traveler.”

Guilt starts to stir when he meets Kaitlyn’s eyes again. Owen takes a final drag of the joint, then lets it fall to the step where he crushes it with the sole of his Croc.

“But I want you there!” she says. “It’s bad enough that Ravi and Hailey can’t come. You have to be there.”

“I’m just not sure it’s such a good idea.”

“Listen, I know that the last year hasn’t been easy for both you guys,” Kaitlyn begins to say as she steps closer to Owen now that the smoke is gone, squatting next to him on the stoop. “But do you really think ignoring each other is how you move on?”

“Who said I want to move on?” Owen asks. “I’m still angry, Kaitlyn. He left. He decided to take that job.”

“He never thought he’d be sent across the Atlantic Ocean,” she reminds him all too helpfully, only making Owen feel more petulant. “You know this position was his dream. This research is what he went to school for, what he wrote his dissertation on.”

That’s the worst part. Owen does know that. He knows just how hard Jacob has worked, even before they met each other. Owen knows all too well how long Jacob spent studying, racking up thousands upon thousands of dollars in student loans, working dead-end job after dead-end job as a lab tech or research assistant just to make ends meet.

Then he finally got his chance.