Page 43 of The Build-a-Boyfriend Project

“Iced Americano?” Eli asks him.

“No, I mean, yes. I guess. But I don’t mind it.”

“Are you sure?” Eli asks. “You don’t have to be okay with it.”

“No, it’s okay. I promise. It’s just . . . unexpected.”

“Part of dating, of being in a relationship, is showing affection, whether it be physical or otherwise. But your own boundaries are just as important. That’s what that safe word is for.”

“Right, right.” Peter’s hands heat up, his palms sweaty. Eli doesn’t mind, though. He’s always had cold hands and feet.

“Is it okay? That we’re doing this?” Eli pleads with Peter silently. He doesn’t want Peter to be uncomfortable, even if a part of this whole experiment is to push Peter’s boundaries in certain ways.

“Yeah, I like it . . . I’ve never held hands with anyone before.”

“Can I ask you a question?”

Peter laughs. “You just did.”

“That’s not fair.” Eli smiles.

“What did you want to ask?”

“How many firsts am I?” Eli invites. It’s a bold inquiry, bolder than even the hand-holding because this really isn’t any of his business, but he’s never been able to help his own curiosity. Besides, it’ll help him get a better picture of what Peter’s gone through. “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want it to; I was just curious since I was . . . you know, your first date and all.”

“No, it’s okay.” Peter lets his head hang. “I guess it’s a reasonable thing to ask. You’re writing an article after all.”

He lets out a huff of air as they stop at an intersection, waiting for the light to give them permission to cross the street.

“I really haven’t done much of anything before,” Peter admits. “I’ve hooked up with someone. Tried to hook up with other guys, but it never amounted to anything.”

“Really?”

“Is that a surprise?” Peter asks.

“No, no. Not at all.” Eli tries to recover the moment. “Just . . . unexpected.”

Peter hesitates, looking down at the sidewalk. Eli almost stops him, wondering if Peter actually wants to talk about this, article be damned.

But Peter keeps going. “My best friend in high school, Mark.” Then Peter looks at Eli like he’s suddenly remembered something. “Uh . . . don’t put his name in the article, please.”

“Of course not. This story won’t make it in if you don’t want it to.”

Peter’s mouth becomes a fine line, as if he’s still thinking. “Our families grew up next door to each other in Comer. We were actually born three days apart, so we always celebrated our birthdays together with our parents. Being two of the only Korean kids made it easy to be best friends.”

“That sounds nice.” Eli squeezes his hand softly.

“It was. High school wasn’t the easiest time. I was bullied pretty hard my freshman year. But when I started to bulk up, the football coach pressured me into playing. My mom hated it, but Mark joined too, and for a few months there, we were actually the popular kids.”

Eli holds his breath, waiting for the but to drop.

“I didn’t even realize I’d fallen for him, how much I liked it when we’d lay in my bed and he threw his legs over mine, or when he’d play with my hair. Or when we’d hang out with our teammates, and they’d all leave the Walmart parking lot one by one until it was just the two of us in the bed of his pickup truck and we’d go to Cook Out and get milkshakes.”

“The Walmart parking lot?” Eli tries to tease, seeing how much this story is bothering Peter.

“There aren’t that many places to hang out in Comer,” Peter says, smiling that soft smile that’s already become so familiar. “Then, it just happened one day. We were watching a movie, he asked if I’d kissed anyone, I said no. He kept asking questions, the last of which was if I wanted him to kiss me, and I did.”

“You know, I hear about that all the time in movies and books, but no one ever wanted to practice kissing with me in high school,” Eli protests, still trying to add a bit of levity.