Page 156 of The Build-a-Boyfriend Project

Peter smiles. “If door-holding means you’re dating someone, then I have some calls to make.”

“No, no, it’s my fault for assuming.” Eli hides his face, feeling the heat along his cheeks. He starts to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, his shoulders heaving until he eventually brings himself down.

Then he feels a hand around his wrists, and the careful pressure as Peter pulls his hands away from his face.

“I’m sorry for the confusion.”

“It’s okay.”

“Ryan’s my agent,” Peter explains.

“Your . . . agent?”

“After everything happened between us . . . I started to query my book. I guess I felt like I have something to prove now.” Peter smiles carefully, almost like he’s afraid to let himself be this happy. “He’s usually in New York, but he has family in SF and came to visit them for the holiday. We thought it’d be the perfect chance to meet in person, discuss edits and going on submission to the publishers we want to try and sell to.”

“That’s amazing, Peter.”

“Yeah, I’m still in shock, I think. All the blogs and authors I follow said that it took them years to get agents. And half the time those agents were either scammers or not a good fit, so they’d have to start all over again. But Ryan seems like the genuine article. He’s the VP of his agency, which I didn’t fully understand but seemed reputable enough. He even connected me with some of his other clients; they all adore him.”

“I knew that you could do it.”

“Not without you, I couldn’t have.” Peter stares into Eli’s eyes, his hands still around Eli’s wrists.

And Eli wants nothing more than to cry.

“You’re so talented,” Eli tells him. “I’m sure the publishers will be bidding for your book soon.”

“Yeah, right. I can only dream.”

“I’m serious, Peter.”

There’s a silence, this one more comfortable even as the wetness behind Eli’s eyes grows.

“Can I ask you something?” Peter’s voice is quiet.

“You just did,” Eli says. Because he can’t help himself. “But you can ask something else.”

“If you thought that Ryan and I were together . . . why’d you even bother talking to me?”

“Because I’m not a child,” Eli says. “Even though I act like one sometimes.”

“But didn’t you come here hoping that we’d get back together? Or . . . together for the first time? I’m not really sure what does and doesn’t count. I know the lines got blurry somewhere.”

Eli can’t help a laugh. “I should’ve listened more when you said we needed a pull-out clause in case things got real.” Peter chuckles along with him, and Eli can’t help but want to drink in the sound of him. “I came because . . . because yes, it broke my heart to see you with another man. But the truth is that I did my best to not care, because no matter what capacity it’s in, I want you in my life, Peter Park. I don’t care if it’s as a boyfriend, I don’t care if it’s platonically, I just . . . I want to be someone who gets to be around you.

“And more than that, I needed to explain myself. To sit across from you and say that what I did to you was too far, that it was awful. I lied, Peter. I used you for my own gain because I believed that was the only way I could advance my career. Because I was so used to shoving the blame onto Michael, onto Vent, instead of accepting that I never belonged there. I never took responsibility for the things that I chose to do. And I was in my own way.” Eli lets out a short, shaky breath. “But more than anything, I needed to look you in the eye and apologize to you. For what I did, for hurting you, for betraying your trust the way that I did.”

Eli pauses.

“I’m sorry, Peter. I’m so, so sorry for lying to you, for hiding the article from you. I never should’ve done that, even if I thought it’d never be released. And I can only hope that you’ll give me the chance to be in your life, to prove how sorry I am, to try and work to earn the trust I lost.”

Peter’s expression sinks, and Eli’s heart goes with it. Of course he’d entered this situation wanting the best outcome. For Peter to open his heart to Eli again, for Peter to forgive him in an instant, even though Eli hasn’t earned it.

“I, uh . . . I don’t know if I’m ready for that, Eli. The boyfriend thing.”

Eli nods, accepting the words because he knows that his feelings aren’t the ones that matter right now. Peter’s do. Peter has to do what Eli taught him, to take control of this situation, to make his own boundaries, and be brave enough to make his own choices. “I completely understand.”

“I wish it was that easy,” Peter says. “But I guess . . . I don’t know if I can trust you, not yet.”