Page 150 of The Build-a-Boyfriend Project

“Oh, honey . . .” She takes Eli by the shoulder, pulling him in closer. “At least you know what you did.”

“I really fell in love with him,” Eli tells her. “That part wasn’t a lie.”

“And he knows this?”

Eli nods. “I told him when I showed him the article.”

“And what did he say?”

“That he loves me too,” Eli repeats the words so easily. There hasn’t been a day since the blowup that he hasn’t thought about them, echoing in his brain. Because he never wants to forget them, that last interaction where Peter promised Eli another world if things could’ve been different.

If Eli hadn’t been so selfish.

If he hadn’t been a coward.

“Have you spoken to him?”

“No.” Eli shakes his head. “I doubt he wants to hear from me.”

His mother’s hand finds Eli’s hair, playing with it softly. “I wish I knew the magic words,” she says. “The fix I could give you to make things better.”

“Thanks.” Eli sniffles.

Rue lets out a low sigh. “If it’s worth anything to you, I hope that you never give up on true love, Eli. I know this year has been tough for you, with Keith, with work, with . . .” Peter’s name is left unsaid. “But I hope you know that you deserve to get the things you want.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

“You’re a kind boy, you work hard, and you care a lot for others. And yes, you were selfish. And you made mistakes. You did something that you shouldn’t have. But it’s not a sin to want, Eli.”

“I think it literally is,” he tells her. “Isn’t there some commandment about coveting or something?”

“Will you hush?” Rue hisses. “I’m trying to impart my wisdom.”

“Okay! I’m sorry.”

Rue smiles at her son. “Maybe it makes me a dreamer, and maybe it’s childish, but I believe in true love.”

It’s like she’s kicking him while he’s down.

“I’ve listened to the way that you talk about him,” Rue says. “The way you lit up. I don’t want to bring him up, but . . . I never saw that in you with Keith.”

“Then what do I do?” Eli can’t help the tears that escape, sliding slowly down his cheeks before he can wipe them away with his sleeve.

“You could just try talking to him again.”

“Do you think it’d be that easy?”

“No,” she admits. “It’s not going to be easy, and that’s the point, Eli. If you want something badly enough, you have to fight for what you think is right, what you think will make you happiest.”

“What if he doesn’t accept it?”

Rue sighs. “At the very least, I think you owe him a sincere apology. One where you can take your time and explain yourself. You tell him in person—look him in the eyes and tell him what you did, and that you’re truly apologetic.”

“And if he doesn’t want to see me?” Eli asks. “Or if he doesn’t accept it?”

“Then . . . you must respect that. It’s his decision. But if you love him, if you truly feel how you feel, then you’ve got to fight for him, Eli. Life is full of what-ifs, but you can’t let that stop you from chasing after what you know you want. You should at least try to make things right. It’s the least you owe him.”

“Thanks, Mom . . .”