Page 139 of The Build-a-Boyfriend Project

Now, it’s Eli’s turn to refuse to look at Keith.

“You’re a coward,” Keith continues. “And that was fine for a while because we’re all afraid of something. I was afraid of breaking your heart. The difference between the two of us is that I’m not addicted to my own misery.”

Eli has a thousand biting words on his tongue, ranging from the simple Fuck you to the lie that is You’re wrong.

He knows Keith is right.

He’s never wanted to admit it to himself before, but he’s been afraid for a long time now.

“You’re right,” Eli tells him. “You’re right. I was afraid. I am afraid.”

Keith seems taken aback by the honesty.

“And I’m sorry for the things I put you through, for not listening more, for turning my problems into yours. That was selfish.”

“Oh, well . . . thank you, Eli.”

“And I’m sorry that things have been so uncomfortable here for so long. Maybe I should’ve taken that as a sign to get out of here earlier, to leave with a little more dignity.”

“I can’t fault you for that,” Keith says. “I certainly didn’t help.”

“No . . . you didn’t,” Eli tells him. “Can I ask you something? You can say no, but I’d like your honesty if you choose to answer it.”

“Okay.” There’s an exhausted tone to Keith’s voice.

“Did you really fall out of love with me? Or was that just the excuse you gave me to spare my feelings?”

“No,” Keith answers without hesitation. “I never fell out of love with you.”

Eli swallows.

“But I could see that we’re two different people, Eli. That we wanted different things out of life. And I knew that you’d never be brave enough to break my heart.”

“So, you did it for me?”

Keith remains silent.

“Did it ever occur to you that that’s not what I wanted?” Eli asks.

“No, because in that moment I needed to be selfish.” Keith sighs. “Lots of things occurred to me, but I did what I thought was right. Because that’s all any of us can do with what we have.”

Eli doesn’t know how to accept this odd truth.

“For what it’s worth, Peter seems like a fantastic guy.”

“You barely even met him,” Eli says.

“Yeah, but I had to read all your notes and drafts to finish the article, and Michael gave me Lavender Country to look over. I know that the entire premise of this thing was for the two of you to fake everything, but . . . it seemed genuine.”

“He taught me a lot,” Eli admits. “Like going for the things that scare me.”

“Have you talked to him?” Keith asks.

“Not yet.”

“Well . . . you should.”

“I know,” Eli says, stepping toward the office door. “Thanks, Keith.”