Page 69 of Not on the Same Page

She said we’d talk later, but we were so busy that later never came. On Sunday, I had to bow out of most of their activities to go see my brother, and she didn’t call me after. If only there was a way⁠—

“Earth to Casey?” Ryan’s voice cuts through my thoughts.

“Hmm?” I make a quick show of clicking through some things on my computer. “Sorry, my mind is in a million places. I had a lot of things to do this weekend that didn’t get done while Imani was here.”

“Sure.” He clearly doesn’t believe me. “I was asking about any other new authors on your radar, but I’m guessing that a certain blonde has occupied your thoughts recently.”

Blinking at him, I school my face so I hopefully give nothing away. “I don’t think I have a blonde author on my list.”

Ryan ticks up a dark eyebrow. “You and I both know I didn’t mean an author.”

“The antecedent was unclear.”

“Don’t use editor speak to avoid the question, Casey.”

“Was there a question? I don’t remember you asking one,” I hedge.

Pushing his glasses up on his nose, Ryan uncrosses his legs and leans forward to rest his elbows on his thighs. “Does Trina put up with this evasive behavior from you?”

“God, it is infuriating when you continually answer me with hypothetical questions.”

She was so beautiful when she leapt to her feet and shouted that at me that day in this office. I shouldn’t have fucked her in here, but I couldn’t help myself. I needed her, and I couldn’t wait one more second.

I shake my head as if to clear it of that memory. This office will never be the same. “No,” I say slowly. “What has Scarlett told you?” I’m not sure if Trina divulged our relationship—or…whatever it is—to her, but it would make sense.

He shakes his head. “Scarlett is beautifully, wonderfully, and also woefully unaware of most social interactions. But I have eyes, man. And I could plainly see that you couldn’t keep yours off her.”

I press my lips into a thin line, still unsure of what I want to give up, mostly because I want to honor Trina’s fears about people finding out. But a large part of me is dying to spill everything to Ryan and ask for some advice.

“It’s…complicated.”

Ryan huffs. “I’m still atoning for the sins of my own complicated workplace romance.” He raises his hands, palms out. “So I get it. Plausible deniability. You don’t have to tell me anything more.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to,” I try to reassure him.

“Really, it’s okay. It’s not like we’re lesser friends because you won’t kiss and tell.”

I chuckle softly, shaking my head at his joke, but he squints at me, clearly thinking about what he’s going to say next.

“Is this unrequited or reciprocated?” he asks carefully.

God, I hope it’s reciprocated. I know the physical attraction is for sure, but the way I want to be near her all the time, finding myself thinking about just texting her in the middle of the night to say hi or see how she’s doing, looking for little pockets of time to spend with her or trying to devise reasons for her to come into the office…I don’t know if she’s feeling any of that.

The best I can give Ryan is a shrug. “It’s at least…mutual.”

He nods as if this confirms whatever he was thinking and takes in a breath through his nose. “If I may offer some advice?”

“Please.” I hate how eager I sound, but I’m dying for someone to weigh in on what has become the only thing I can think about, especially as I am apparently hemorrhaging writers at the new press I’m supposed to bring back from the brink. I could use the brain space for something else.

“Tell her how you feel,” he says as he stands. “It is annoying how much can be sorted out with a simple conversation.” He looks at me as if to drive the point home, then starts to leave. But before he can walk away fully, he turns back and raps his knuckles on my desk. “And bring food.”

“Is that advice from your personal experience?”

“The talking, yes.” He winks. “The food is guidance from blondie herself.”

I purse my lips against the wide smile that wants to break free. That figures, actually.

Ryan pauses near the door, regarding me. “I can see by your expression that she brings you a lot of joy. You deserve that, you know. So does she. I’m sure you two can figure it out.”