Page 37 of Not on the Same Page

Casey purses his lips together and leans back in his chair. “JMP acquired Starlight as a young adult imprint. They merged with Anastasios, and he selected me to run it.”

“And you accepted.”

He nods once. “There aren’t many opportunities like this for a man like me,” he says. “Especially one who wants to stay in Chicago.”

“A man like you…” I trail off, frowning.

“A Black man, Trina,” he says softly. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but publishing isn’t the most diverse industry.”

“What are your dreams?” he asks, tracing a circle around my belly button. “What do you want for your life?”

“I’m living the dream,” I evade.

Casey rolls so he’s hovering over me, bringing his hand up to brush over my lips. My tongue darts out to lick one of his fingers, and he moans quietly.

“I’m serious,” he half-scolds.

“I am too,” I say on a laugh. “I love my job. Don’t you?”

His hand drops lower, closing lightly around my throat as he holds my chin where he wants it. He leans in for a kiss. “Yes.” Another kiss. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t want more.” A kiss again. “A publisher, maybe.” Kiss. “Or CEO.” Kiss. “But I’d never leave Chicago.” Kiss, kiss, kiss.

“Would you settle for being an excellent lover?” I tease, my own hand drifting lower, circling his growing hardness.

He eyes me carefully, his hand around my neck squeezing, pushing my chin up so I have no choice but to meet his eyes.

“For now,” he says before his kisses turn more passionate again.

I blink rapidly, trying not to be too thrown off by the intrusive memory. “They couldn’t have found a better man for the job.” My voice is almost a whisper.

Casey’s expression softens and his body sags a fraction, as if some great tension had been snipped just enough to let him relax a bit. “Thank you,” he says quietly.

“I wish you had told me.”

At that, he straightens again. “When was I supposed to tell you, Trina?” His voice is as soft as it has been, but there’s a slight edge to it.

It’s a good question. I don’t know that there would have been a great time to bring it up, and it isn’t something you just declare out of the blue. Aside from the fact that, if I ever read through all of my emails, I’d have known already. I should have.

But he turns his gaze out his office window and rubs a hand over his hair. It’s the only sign that he’s uncomfortable with this line of questioning, and it makes me think he feels bad about not keeping me in the loop.

“Truth be told, I’ve been feeling a little out of my league,” he says to the wall. He won’t look at me, and dammit, that hurts even more. “Suddenly, I have a whole team to run. People who are depending on me to turn this imprint around. Decisions to make that I can’t defer to anyone else. They’re deferring to me.” He glances at me, then back out the window. “I’m not always sure they picked the right guy for this. And when I was with you…” He swallows hard, then drags his gaze to meet mine. “I felt normal. Lighter. It was nice to forget about the pressure and clear my head. You know?”

That is a sentiment I know all too well. Isn’t that exactly what I was doing with him, too? What had I hoped to do again as soon as I landed in Chicago? I can’t stay mad at him for wanting exactly what I want, and for honoring our deal and the rules we set for ourselves over a year ago.

I can be irritated, but I can’t be mad.

“I get it,” is all I’m willing to offer him. He smiles softly, his gaze dipping to my lips then back again. My tongue darts out to wet them. “But there’s no one else who is as qualified or deserving as you for this position, Casey. I’ve worked with a lot of editors, and you were always one of my favorites.”

His smile widens into a grin, and just like that, the pressure in the room is lifted. “You liked working with me so much, you ghosted me for a whole year.”

Running a hand through my hair, I sit back in my chair and cross one leg over the other, letting the blue fabric of my skirt settle nicely over my thighs. “I didn’t have anything I thought you’d like.”

“Bullshit,” he says, but he’s still smiling.

I shrug. “I’m guessing based on your insistence I come here that it wasn’t just to see my beautiful face.”

“It wasn’t not to see your beautiful face.” The words leave his mouth so easily, and they slide over my body leaving goosebumps in their wake. I blink rapidly and shiver. He doesn’t miss it, and that smile of his turns devilish.

“But there was another reason?” I ask, and I’m surprised how meek I sound.