Page 73 of Love Out Loud

“I’ll be honest,” he says, offering me a lifeline, “I’d go back with you if you wanted me. I’ve been thinking a lot about it. But that’s not what I want.” He takes my chin between his thumb and forefinger so I have to look at him. “I missed you, Lark. Not Michigan. And if I were with you back there, I’d have you but I’d miss LA.”

I crinkle my face at him. “Feels like a bit of a double standard. You don’t think I’d miss Ann Arbor if I moved here?”

“Would you?” he asks.

The question is sincere, and I should retort that yes, of course I would miss the place where I grew up, where my kid grew up, where I went to undergrad and grad school and landed the job I’ve held for fifteen years. Where I got married, and where I got divorced. Where Hannah and my parents are.

But I’m going to miss it here, too.

“It’s a lot to think about,” I admit.

“Then think about it.” He kisses my nose. “There’s no rush. We have twenty-five years behind us and hopefully at least that many more in front of us. We have time.”

He’s right. I know he is. But now that I’ve had a taste of him, I know it’ll never be enough. My time here is running out, too. We’re wrapping up the primary recording of the audiobook this week, and I’ll need to respond to Carl’s email soon.

Lennon uses the hand resting on my hip to pull my body so it’s flush with his so he can kiss me again. The hard length of his desire presses against my torso. The knowledge that I’m the one causing this reaction in him is still so new and exciting. I want to explore it every chance I get.

“I love you,” I say between kisses.

“You’re my favorite person in the world,” he says back.

I try to tell myself that’s as good as an I love you. He doesn’t have to say it. This is just what we say—what we’ve always said. Maybe it’s too soon to step from love to in love, even though I know I’ve fallen deeply and hopelessly in love with my best friend. It’s been twenty-five years in the making; there’s no point in denying it anymore.

He’ll get there. If what he’s said to me these past weeks is any indication, he’s as far in as I am.

I push these thoughts away to worry about later. Lennon’s right. We have plenty of time.

***

“So, Lark.” Jessica leans her elbows on the small table outside the studio building and props her chin on her clasped hands. “I don’t know if Noah has told you, but I’d love for you to come on board to narrate my sequel.”

I glance at the man in question. He’s still poking around his bowl, but he looks up at me. Silas pauses mid-chug of his water bottle, and a little of it drips down his chin. There are two empty bottles lined up in front of him. In retrospect, it was a bad idea to let Jessica ploy us with spicy burrito bowls, and we’ll likely have to call it for the day. Luckily, we had a great morning and only have a chapter each to go.

I push my half-finished lunch closer to the middle of the table. “He has,” I say simply. My phone dings from where it sits face down on the table. I pick it up quickly, hoping to at least buy myself some time before I have to answer the question I know is coming next.

Devin: Dad and Rachel are already driving me bananas. And don’t get me started on RJ. Did I ask this many questions when I was five?

I chuckle as I shake my head and type out a quick reply. She made it two weeks, which is actually pretty good.

Lark: Yes. You did. You’ll be out of their house and in your dorm soon enough. I’m excited to come help set it up with you!

Devin: Yeah, you can be a buffer when you get here.

Lark: Happy to.

I put my phone down and give my attention back to Jessica. “Sorry—that was my daughter.”

“Awww,” she croons. “I bet you miss her. Her dad’s not in the picture?”

“I do,” I agree. “And her dad is still around. She’s with him now, in New York. She’ll start at NYU in a few weeks.”

“That’s a great school,” Silas chimes in. “Is she going to study acting like her mom?”

“No. She’s declared a journalism major.”

“Will you head out there to help her get settled, then?” Noah asks.

I nod. “That’s what she was texting me about, actually. She’s ready to be out of her dad’s house.”