Page 74 of Not a Strong Enough Word

Dianne also often asks me to name my emotions. She says that when I shut them out and don’t talk about them, that’s when they grow into unmanageable beasts. So by the time I hit that last step on the ground level, I try to give what I’m feeling a name.

Confusion. But also anger. I don’t want to do this again. I wasn’t supposed to have to do this again. When does it all fucking end?

That’s where I find myself when I open the door to the stairwell and two things happen at once. First, the elevator door across the lobby opens and Ryan steps out. Second, Charles Hall and his annoying swagger passes between us.

Just my luck, Charles turns his head to me and smiles, though it’s really more of a sneer, and it takes all my power not to sigh in exasperation. The last thing I want to do right now is make small talk with this asshole, but he stops to face me fully, his back to Ryan as if he didn’t see him or he doesn’t matter.

“Hello, Scarlett.” He curls his lip when he says it. It takes a second, but something about the way he emphasizes my name—my real name—stokes the little flame that sparked in my belly on my way down the stairs.

The realization slams into me hard enough that I take an involuntary step back as I gasp. “It was you.”

Charles folds his arms across his bulky chest and chuckles without any humor whatsoever. “What? Did you think I was too stupid to figure it out?”

Ryan takes a few steps forward as if he’s going to come to my defense, but he stops when I tilt my head and blink at Charles a few times, considering what to do next. I could do the demure thing and walk away. Considering everything that just happened upstairs, that’s definitely what I should do—smile, play nice, take it on the chin. But as it turns out, I’m pissed, and I left the last of my fucks in that conference room.

“Honestly, I didn’t think you were paying enough attention to come to the obvious conclusion,” I say, thanking everything that is and ever was holy that my voice is even and cool. And then, because I just can’t help myself now that I know exactly how much of a jackass this guy is, I add, “It’s not like my best-selling face hasn’t been all over the place in the past.”

Charles narrows his eyes at me, and his biceps flex a bit as he tenses. He doesn’t say anything, which isn’t a surprise. He’s not quick enough to come up with something witty or cutting.

“Why did you do it?” I have to know, and if I know anything about his type, I know he’s just dying to tell me anyway.

Sure enough, his lips curl into a sinister smile again. “I’ve been secretly meeting with JMP, too. Remember? I thought they might be interested in the information that their imprint signed an author who fucked them over. Turns out I was right. They were very interested.” He removes one of his hands from where it’s folded in his arm and rubs his thumb and fingers together. I take that to mean they offered him a lot of money for his book in return.

“Hmm.” I nod slowly. “Turns out I was right, too. You are exactly as self-centered as I originally thought.”

I could swear I see Ryan’s jaw drop, but Charles scoffs. “Whatever gets me the money, sweetheart. I was just here in a meeting to see if Anastasios would counter. Seems like they might.”

Oh, gag me. I have to force myself not to physically lose my breakfast at his demeaning nickname. “Fine.” I shrug. “I’ll bite. If you got the money, why’d you put it on social media?” I saw that caption. Only someone who can’t string a sentence together with his two remaining brain cells would have written that garbage.

“Ahh.” And that insufferable smile is back. “That one was extra because you left me high and dry at that restaurant. For your editor boyfriend, no less. God, I hope you both are in such deep shit for that.”

“Oh, please.” I laugh at his audacity. “You were sucking face with some young thing when I came back. Maybe if you had given a shit about anything I had to say, I would have stuck around until a polite time to leave.”

“Nah, Scarlett.” He makes an expression that tells me he thinks he’s won. “Leaving is kind of your thing.”

A knife. That’s what his comment feels like. Ryan would mock the cliché, but there’s no other way to describe it. It fucking hurt. Because he’s right.

And yet, I can’t let him have the last word. I lick my lips and narrow my eyes at him. “You know what, Charles? You’re right—that is my thing. And you’re lucky it is. You’re the kind of trash that takes itself out, so I am going to leave now so I can stand by and watch it happen.”

With that, I turn on my heel and walk right out the door and to my car, pulling out of the parking lot and putting as much distance between myself and Charles and Anastasios Press as I can.

Chapter 33

Ryan

“Don’t follow her,” Trina says as soon as Scarlett is out the door of the conference room. “She said she needed space.” Everyone filed out quickly after the meeting was over, so Trina, Casey, and I are the only ones here.

“I can help her,” I say. I feel like I’ve been saying that a lot lately, and I wish people could just see that I’m good for her. We make a good team.

“She doesn’t need help. She needs space,” Trina reiterates. “And besides, you have to transfer all the files to Casey so he can finish this job as fast as he can. You’re done with it, Ryan. I should have insisted on it from the start.” The last part she says mostly to herself, but it still stings.

Casey claps a hand on my shoulder. “I’m sorry, man. I had my reservations, but I was rooting for you. This book…Scarlett…I wanted it to work out.”

“Anastasios may have insisted I transfer the manuscript to you, but I haven’t lost Scarlett,” I insist.

To his credit, Casey does try to hide his skepticism, but I’ve known him long enough to see it. And that’s all it takes to have me running to the elevator, trying to catch Scarlett before she leaves despite the protests of my two friends. Because if she walks out of this building and disappears like last time, I’ll never forgive myself.

She’s nowhere to be found when I get to the elevator, so I get in as fast as I can and go to the ground level. Maybe I can see her before she gets to her car. Uselessly, I push the button about ten times before the door closes and I start my descent.