Page 52 of Not a Strong Enough Word

As if a dam has finally broken, she throws her arms around my neck and kisses me passionately, our teeth clicking together with the force of it.

Maybe this is one of those moments she wrote about, where there’s a clear before and after. I knew it was when she left, and now that she’s back again, I can feel it the same way. There’s only what’s ahead of us. We can face it together.

In a moment of strength I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to replicate again, I grab her ass and lift her off the ground. Her legs squeeze around my midsection, and she rolls her hips against me. The moan that falls her lips when my hardness meets her soft center is decadent. And it’s all for me.

I carry her like this to the bedroom, then with all the self-control I can muster, I lay her gently on the bed. The more primal part of me wants to toss her around and show her who she belongs to, but she asked for tenderness, so I’ll try.

Her dark hair splays out on the comforter, making her look like a mermaid or a siren or some other temptress, luring men to their watery deaths. Fitting, because I would gladly follow her under. I’m practically drowning in her as it is—those gorgeous blue eyes, her lips that are swollen from my kisses, her legs still wrapped around my waist, the velvety, black-tea scent of her—and I don’t want to come up for air.

I lean close for a kiss, but she stops me, taking the corners of my glasses between her fingers. “You want to take these off?”

I shake my head, swallowing hard. “I’ve spent five years without being able to see your body. I’m leaving them on.”

She drags her bottom lip through her teeth, suddenly shy. Her blue eyes skim over my face, then my shoulders. Her cheeks grow rosy, and I kiss them lightly. I can’t help myself.

“What is it, beautiful?” I run my thumb over her lips where her teeth just were.

Her eyelids flutter closed. “I’m nervous,” she whispers, as if saying it any louder will make it somehow more true. “Sometimes…” She trails of and swallows hard, still not looking at me. “I want this. I don’t even think I let myself admit how much I wanted it until now. But my meds…sometimes they make it hard to…you know.” A little, embarrassed laugh escapes her.

“Scarlett,” I say, my voice low and rumbling. “Look at me.”

She does, but her eyebrows pinch together with concern as she undoes the button on my pants. “I can just—”

Grabbing her chin with my thumb and forefinger, I draw her eyes back to mine. “Scarlett,” I repeat, more forceful this time. Those blue eyes settle on me, and now that I have her full attention, I say more gently, “Is it difficult for you every time?”

“Um…” Her gaze skates away from me again, but I grip her chin harder to remind her to keep it trained on me.

“When I said I wanted to see you, I didn’t just mean your body. I want to see your brain, too. All of it. The good, the bad, and the in-between. So, tell me, beautiful. Is there anything that works?”

Scarlett eyebrows raise and her eyes widen, then she nods.

“Show me, then,” I command, letting go of her chin.

She blinks rapidly. “You want me to…”

“I want to watch,” I say, leaning back on my heels. “I want to learn so I can memorize the way you touch yourself, so I can touch you the way you like.”

There’s a slight pause—just a small one—before a look of determination crosses her gorgeous features. “Okay,” she agrees as she undoes the zipper of her jeans and slides them off. Next, her panties hit the ground. Reaching around her back, she makes quick work of the hook of bra, and that joins the rest of her clothes.

And then, she reclines back onto the pillows at the head of her bed, her skin glowing in the dull light of the room. Her dark nipples are peaked, and she bites her lip as she takes one between her fingers and rolls it. The fingers of her other hand glide between her legs, dipping inside of her. They come out glistening, and she uses the longest one to rub against her clit. Her eyes lock on mine, and she flashes me a coy smile.

Returning her grin, I palm my erection through my pants. The pressure isn’t nearly enough for any relief, but I can’t help it. I have to do something. “You like it when I watch you, don’t you?”

“Looks like you like it just as much,” she quips before pinching her nipple harder. She moans deliciously as she inserts one finger, then another inside of herself again. Her chest heaves as she works, increasing her pace. Little beads of sweat glistening above her breasts.

“Fuck, Scarlett,” I grind out, rubbing myself uselessly as I watch her. “You are so gorgeous like this, working yourself into a needy mess for me.”

Her eyes roll back in my direction, but they’re hooded now. “I am a mess.” She removes her fingers from inside herself to circle her clit again.

“A beautiful mess,” I say on a moan.

She licks her lips and drags her gaze all over me, little bumps rising in its wake. “It might help if I could see you. If you…” As if she’s lost the ability to talk, she trails off and tips her head back, her breaths coming even faster now. “Clothes off,” she demands.

I practically leap off the bed and shimmy out of my pants and boxers. My cock springs free, and I groan as I circle it with my palm, pumping in time with the work of her fingers.

“Can I taste you?” she whimpers. “Please?”

I grow impossibly harder at the thought of her tongue on me, but I shake my head. “I’m supposed to be watching you and learning.”