Page 84 of Plane Passion

Wrapping himself in a towel, he rushed to his bedroom to change into clean clothes for dinner.

When he came down for dinner, Prudence and Verity were whispering excitedly, clearly ready to burst with a secret.

Ernie loved them, but he really had no patience for the nonsense of teenage girls right now. All he wanted was to eat his meal in peace and hide up in his room.

Mom brought in a meat loaf and mashed potatoes, followed by green beans and dinner rolls.

As she settled into her seat, she looked over at the girls and tsked. “Well, what is it? I know you’re not going to give us any peace until you’ve told us your news.”

Prudence looked at Verity who smiled and nodded. Brimming with pride, Prudence laid a small pile of dollar bills on the table.

“I sold my telescope to Benjie Stanton, and he gave me two whole dollars for it!”

“And I sold my mystery books to the used bookseller on Court Street. He gave me three dollars for twelve of them.”

Pushing the money toward Pop, Prudence said, “We wanted to help with the tuition for Constance so she can finish secretarial school.” The twins both wore wide grins.

Ernie felt like he’d been punched in the gut.

He’d bought Prudence that telescope and paid for Verity’s books. And now they were selling them because of him, because he’d failed them.

“Well, that’s mighty thoughtful of you, girls,” said Pop, accepting the money. “I’m proud of you for wanting to contribute. I’m sure Constance appreciates it very much, don’t you Constance?”

With a warm smile, Constance said, “I don’t know how to thank you. I can’t tell you how much it means to me. I promise we’ll buy them back as soon as I’m working.”

Guilt churned in Ernie’s gut. This was more than he could take.

“Mom, Pop, I’m not feeling well. May I be excused?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before running upstairs.

Picking up his sketch pad, he threw himself on the bed. What could he draw? Not his family. That hurt too much. Not his former colleagues. That hurt too much too. Certainly not Millie. His lamp. Yes. An inanimate object would do just fine.

With infinite care, he drew each accordion fold of his lampshade and traced the subtle bulge and taper of the blue ceramic base. He spent an hour perfecting the shading until there was a knock on his door.

“Ernie, it’s me,” said Pop. “Can I come in?”

Closing his eyes, Ernie took a deep breath. “Come in.”

“What’s that you’re drawing there?”

Turning the sketchbook, Ernie showed him.

Pop smiled and shook his head. “You know, I didn’t think it was possible to make a lamp look sad, but somehow you’ve managed it.”

The lamp sat alone on a field of black, only the faintest light escaping, creating a lighter gray circle. Pop was right. He’d drawn a sad lamp.

“You’re taking this hard,” Pop said, sitting on the bed beside him. “And I can’t blame you. There are few things as demoralizing as having your livelihood taken away from you.” He held up his mangled hand. “I remember well how I felt after the accident when I couldn’t get factory work or any other job for that matter. Now you know how I felt watching you pick up my burden and take on caring for the family.”

Ernie closed his eyes, embarrassed at his weakness in front of Pop who had been through so much worse. At least Ernie was still whole and healthy. He could figure out another career with time.

“It does get better with time,” Pop continued. “You just have to surrender yourself to the love around you. Once you do that, everything seems better. Sometimes I think losing the use of my hand was the best thing that ever happened to me. It showed me as nothing else could how much my family loved me. It showed me God’s tender mercy. I couldn’t go forward on my own strength. I needed my family and my faith to carry me through. And they did. And I’ll never stop being grateful.”

Pop patted his hand. “Think about it, son. Try to let the love in instead of running away. It will make a world of difference. I promise.”

Let the love in. It was easier said than done. His whole body was tense from the effort to keep his emotions in check. If he let the love in, he would fall apart completely.

Giving Ernie’s hand one last squeeze, Pop stood up and left.