Page 78 of Landing Love

“Here you are, my love.” He handed her a wrapped square package.

Was it a book? No, it felt more like…a frame? She slipped her fingers beneath the paper and opened it to see…

“Roger. You gave me a picture of Roger. And my mother.” Tears gathered in her eyes, and she didn’t bother to blink them away. This is the last thing she would ever have expected from him, and try as she might to summon words of thanks, she couldn’t come up with anything big enough to say. She’d worried that she would need to choose between her memories of Roger and the man before her, but here he was encouraging her to remember.

“They are an honored part of our family. We wouldn’t want Junior to forget his father or his grandmother, now, would we?”

The generosity of the gesture overwhelmed her. She’d never dared hope that he would understand and accept the place Roger held in her heart or how important it was to her that Junior remember his father. This picture was permission to feel all the complicated grief and love that she’d tried to set aside for Bill’s sake. It seemed impossible that she could love this man any more than she already did, but somehow he’d managed to rock her to the very core.

“Oh, Bill, it’s perfect.” She flew into his arms and sobbed shamelessly on his shoulder.

“Once we have a proper mantel, you can put it there. For now, the bookshelf will have to do.” He put it up in a place of pride, as if that wasn’t the most extraordinary thing anyone had ever done for her, as if it mattered to him as much as to her that their family be complete and that the memories of those she’d lost be preserved.

She never thought she’d see her mother or Roger again after all the photos were destroyed by the fire, but there they were, beautifully captured. “The likeness really is striking. How did you do it?”

“Pritchard sketched and I described from memory until we had it right.”

She couldn’t form words. All this time she’d feared her love for Roger would keep her from giving her all to Bill, but with this gesture, Bill showed her that she could love Roger and him. They were one family, all united by love.

Ever since she lost Roger, she felt as if a part of her was missing. Even marrying and loving Bill hadn’t been enough to banish the feeling, but with this picture she felt whole. There was continuity, caring, respect. They were all together, the memories of those she’d lost honored in loving detail. She had felt like she needed permission of a sort from Roger to care for Bill, but really what she needed was acceptance from Bill of her love for Roger.

It was a different love she had with Bill. Roger would always be her first love, but their love was untried. Their hardships during their time together were small compared to what she had endured after losing him. From the moment they met, Bill had been there for her, accepting all her messy, difficult feelings and not balking at her circumstances. He had given her comfort when she was hurting, help when she was in need. Between the fire and the Spanish Flu, they had been through hell together, and their connection only strengthened through adversity.

Her love for Roger was like a fire, intense, beautiful, and ephemeral. Her love for Bill was an ocean, buoying her up like a ship at sea, putting wind in her sails when she thought all was lost, carrying her home when she’d lost all sense of direction, all hope. She felt the excitement of an explorer on uncharted waters. The future held untold joys with Bill. Together, they would raise Junior, and hopefully some children of their own. They would sing together by the piano. They would laugh together every day. She would bake him countless cakes.

Ann burrowed her face into Bill’s chest and let the tears of joy flow as she felt his strong arms around her and his lips kissing the top of her head. She was safe and content in his embrace.

At last, when the tears abated, she stepped away and got out a doily she’d crocheted during her quarantine. Its lacy pattern looked like a fan of peacock feathers. She placed it under the picture, her own humble gift to the people she’d loved and lost.

She took a moment to gaze at it, silently sending her love to Roger and her mother in heaven.

Then she turned to Bill and kissed him, putting everything she couldn’t put in words into the touch of lips and tongue, entwining, caressing. And from the way he kissed her back, she knew he understood.

Her life was beginning again, and she couldn’t wait to share it with him.

EPILOGUE

“Are you ready for today?” Bill asked over breakfast in their new home. They sat together in a spacious, freshly painted, pale-yellow dining room at a mahogany table covered by a crocheted tablecloth. He’d had the idea to take her flying when they were on their honeymoon in Cape Cod and had been looking forward to it ever since.

“I’m ready,” Ann said with her usual gorgeous smile.

Junior sat in a wooden highchair beside her, mashing his hand into a bowl of applesauce and licking it off, and then babbling, “Dadadadada.” Bill’s heart was fit to burst with so much love for his little family.

He had wanted to take her flying sooner, but they were too busy until now. There were the home renovations and then the move and unpacking. But at last, he and Ann had the time. As a special treat, they’d be testing out the Lawson C-1 he planned to buy. Hank had agreed to invest in his business, and they were working out the final details. It was almost embarrassing to have so many things in his life go right at once, but he tried to count his blessings and be grateful for his wonderful family and friends.

She’d never been flying, which was astonishing considering he was the second pilot she’d married. He wanted her to experience the joy and exhilaration of leaving the world behind and soaring up into the skies. It was a feeling he couldn’t get enough of. Even after flying for years, it still gave him a thrill every time he went up. There was something magical about that moment of lift-off when the plane’s wheels left the ground, and you floated on nothing but thin air. And then flying higher and higher…

He looked down and realized his eggs had been halfway to his mouth for far too long. Taking a hasty bite, he swallowed. “I promise I’ll keep you safe, and it’s all fully enclosed. You’ll hardly notice you’ve left the ground.”

A certain tightness crept into her smile. She was nervous, then. It was only to be expected.

“I trust you.” She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. But that was all right. Everyone was a little uneasy on their first time up.

“I’m an excellent pilot, I assure you. Possibly the best in the air mail fleet.”

She laughed. “So modest.”

“I am. Everyone says so.”