Page 45 of Landing Love

As she fed Junior, she had thought about whether she truly wanted to wait. Would she ever feel ready? She couldn’t be sure. And if she wouldn’t be any more ready in two months than at present, there was very little point in delay. She couldn’t deny him, or herself, for long, and she needed a better reason than vague reluctance to deny him at all.

Besides, nervous as she was, she couldn’t help her attraction to him. Maybe it was the ways he reminded her of Roger. Maybe it was the inexplicable chemistry between them. But she wanted him, even as her heart balked at the thought. Even now, his presence beside her made heat blossom between her legs. Her body was ready for more, despite her reluctant heart. And her heart craved the comfort of affection and the oblivion of bliss. It relieved the ache of grief, if only for a little while.

And it worked. At least until he said he loved her.

Hearing those words, her heart caught in her throat. She knew Bill had feelings for her, but to say he loved her so soon? It shook her. She supposed she should be happy he cared so much. It boded well for their future together. But what if she could never return that love the way he deserved? What if her physical attraction and friendly feelings never turned into anything more? Would he be satisfied?

She curled against him, spooned with her back to his front, and he made a sleepy, contented noise as he wrapped an arm around her. His masculine scent mixed with his aftershave, so unfamiliar but so enticing. His body radiated warmth, and she snuggled closer, enjoying the contrast with the crisp autumn night air.

It was a guilty pleasure. After she lost Roger, she thought she’d never sleep like this again. How many nights had she imagined Roger holding her just so to fend off the loneliness and loss? But Bill wasn’t Roger, nor, in that moment, did she want him to be.

That was a surprise. She was enjoying the rush of newness after months of thinking she’d be on her own forever. The giddiness of infatuation was a welcome respite, even though she knew it wouldn’t last. At some point, the novelty would wear off, and what would happen then? Would her attraction deepen to something more lasting, or would she always keep him at arm’s length?

She wanted to move forward, but she wasn’t sure how. Bill said he loved her, but did he mean it? When Roger was courting her, it had taken almost a year for them to say those words to each other. And now she had so much more reason to protect her heart. She knew the heartbreak that love could bring. While she’d made that impassioned speech about pilots when Hank was in the hospital, following her own advice was another matter.

Bill risked his life every time he took off, even if no one was shooting at him. She’d worry for him every time he went to work. Every single time, a small corner of her heart would brace for losing him. And with her luck, something awful was bound to happen. Look at how much loss she’d endured over the last year—her husband, her mother, her home.

The acrid scent of smoke nearly choked her as visions from the fire crowded out every other thought. The stink was so strong that she opened her eyes and looked for flames, every muscle tensed. But there was nothing but the dark of Bill’s apartment and the faint glow of the streetlamp through the red checkered curtains over the front windows. Taking a deep breath in, there wasn’t even a whiff of what she smelled a moment ago.

“Are you all right?” Bill’s sleepy baritone made her jump.

Tears of relief prickled in her eyes and dripped down to her pillow. Her breath hitched. “No.”

Bill tightened his arm around her and kissed her shoulder. “What’s wrong?” There was an edge in his voice, as if he feared her answer. His body tensed against her.

“I thought I smelled smoke, but it was just my imagination.”

His body relaxed, and he hugged her close. “You’re safe. I’ll keep you safe.”

“I know you will.” And she did. Mostly. No good would come of voicing all the doomful thoughts circling like vultures in her mind. But you’re a pilot. Your plane could crash. I could lose everything. All I’ve done for the last year is lose and lose and lose. I can’t lose you too.

For a long moment, they were both silent, taking slow breaths in synchrony.

“I was worried for a moment that you regretted…” His lips brushed her neck as he spoke.

Oh. No wonder he tensed up when she said she wasn’t all right. The vulnerability in his voice made her heart ache. “No, Bill. I don’t regret that in the least.”

She’d chosen to be with him. And she certainly wasn’t going to voice all the complicated emotions she had around that choice. He’d been so good to her, so endlessly considerate and giving. And she wanted him. Lord, how she wanted him.

Even after earlier, she still wanted more. When he was pleasuring her, when he was inside her, everything else had disappeared. The weight of her worries lifted, and she was capable of a joy and bliss that had eluded her since the telegram about Roger. She wanted it back. She wanted a moment of feeling like her old self, not the unrecognizable, careworn husk she’d become.

Bill made her feel fully alive, and she couldn’t help wanting more. In fact, she wanted it now.

Turning over, she kissed him, pulling her body flush against his and hooking her leg over his hip. His cock sprung to attention as she moved against him, craving friction, oblivion, release.

He responded with a hunger that ignited her own, as he rolled on top of her, settling between her legs and pressing his hardened length against her core. “God, I want you, but are you sure?”

He paused, and she squirmed against him.

She’d never been more certain of anything in her life. “Please. I need you, Bill.” Her voice was husky with unquenched desire.

His eyes widened and his cock twitched as she said his name. “Yes, Ann. Yes.”

Instead of pressing himself inside her, like she wanted, he started kissing his way down her front. Was he…? Yes, he was.

He hooked her knees over his shoulders and settled between her legs. His tongue swept over her bud, and her whole body convulsed. She and Roger had only tasted each other like this a few times. He didn’t seem to enjoy it, but Bill’s enthusiasm was undeniable.

“Oh God. I’ve dreamed of tasting you for months,” he murmured against her tender flesh, the vibration sending ripples of pleasure to the top of her head and the tips of her toes. “Mmm. You’re even better than strawberry cake.”