Page 78 of Starside

I can almost feel his revulsion. He spits out his words. “Our swords are not the same.”

“I don’t see any cracks,” I say in a sharp whisper. Silence. Our swords are still together. A shred of moonlight gleams between them.

Both are unmarred. As if they are equally matched.

He quickly sheaths his, as if he can’t bear to face that fact, his sparkling metal disappearing like all the stars guttering out at once. I lower mine, trying hard not to drop it, but don’t sheath it.

He turns to leave again, but the words are out of me before I can stop them. “I have a map.”

That makes him pause. He turns, very slowly. I carefully reach into my pocket and pull it out, my sword still between us. I shake it open. “It’s all here. Everything.”

I imagine he’s looking at it. I can almost tell from the direction of his head.

Then he turns slightly, toward me. I keep my posture straight, my skin prickling beneath his study.

“I could kill you and take it.” He says the words without feeling, as though it would take little effort, time, or space in his conscious. If he even has one.

I was expecting that. So I curl the map into a ball—

And throw it past him, right off the cliff. We both watch as it falls into the fire and burns into embers. “You fool, you—”

“I memorized it.” If he wants that knowledge, he can’t kill me. Not until we reach the end of the quest, at least. I stand there watching him, the darkness of his hood like a second mask.

He tilts his head at me. There is something predatory in the way he does it, like a beast staring down prey. He looks like a demon. A nightmare. His cruelty is not just a rumor. I’ve experienced it firsthand.

And he doesn’t even remember.

“You will regret this,” he says, before taking a step forward. It’s not a threat as much as it is a promise. But it isn’t a no. His hands are halfway curled into fists. “If you slow me down, I will kill you. If I find another way across the land without you, I will kill you. If you try to touch my sword, I will kill you. Understood?”

I know I should feel fear, but instead, all I feel is crushing relief. He’ll help me reach the end of this. I know it.

“Same to you,” I say, because he, I think, will be the one to regret ever underestimating me.

He doesn’t even look at me as he walks past, deeper into the cave. I remain fixed in place, refusing to follow.

I don’t plan on getting anywhere near him for the rest of the night, but then I hear it. The faint gurgling of a water source far behind me. In the direction he went.

I swallow, my throat rough with thirst. Now that he’s gone, now that I’m not running, the full force of my hunger and exhaustion hits me at once. My knees nearly buckle. Don’t show your weakness, I think. You’ve gone this long without water. You can last a few more minutes.

I try. I stand, battling with my pride, but I lose. I turn and rush toward the sound, not even looking for the demon knight, eyes and mind and senses solely focused on a stream of water so blue, it’s almost glowing.

Fuck it. I’m so thirsty, I fall to my knees and drink from my hands. I gulp it down greedily, the water streaming down my neck, soaking my shirt until my throat is finally smooth again.

That’s when I finally notice him. He’s turned toward me, leaning against the side of the cave. He’s still wearing his hood. Of course. Does he ever take it off? How about the mask? Is there even a face beneath it? If the rumors are true, there isn’t. He’s a beast. A true devil. I might not be able to see his expression, but disdain is clear in the way he looks down at me. He thinks he’s better than me. He’s probably right.

What he doesn’t understand is that I will do anything to reach the end. I will do everything he said he would do to me and more.

I can’t see his eyes—which I know he has, because I’ve seen them, beneath a silver helmet—but mine aren’t obstructed. I glare at him, and I hope that he can feel my hatred. It hasn’t dimmed in years. If anything, it’s grown.

I will use him the same way he’s using me, and then I will kill him for what he did. And he’ll deserve it.

My mind shifts to a flash of him in the rain. The hatred in his eyes, his metal against my neck, and—

My hands tense against the cold stone floor before I slowly start to wash my face. Then, when I feel relatively clean, I sit back against the smooth cave wall.

No way I’m sleeping tonight. Not when I’m half convinced Raker is going to gut me in my sleep and take my sword, map be damned.

He could do that even if I was awake, I think, but I’m not risking it. I grip my blade against my chest and stare out at the opening of the cave.