Page 219 of Starside

We pass the threshold, where Vander portaled me in, and I can’t take it anymore. I whirl to face him, throwing my hands up in frustration. “Clearly, you don’t agree with my plan. Is it just because I came up with it? You’re used to making the plans, not following them?”

My anger seems to call to his, because he finally speaks. “You give yourself away so easily?” he spits. “I would have thought someone like you would have a bit more pride.” He says the words with clear derision. As if he has any right to judge me. As if he has any right to me at all.

“Why do you care?” I demand, yelling, my voice spilling through the empty grounds.

I can’t see his face. It’s beneath the hood again. His hands are in fists. His entire body is coiled tight.

Then, in a flash, he’s pressing me against those open metal gates.

My mouth goes dry, remembering how he felt against me, without armor on. How he glared as his body responded to mine. How he hated it. How he leaned in just the slightest bit anyway. How his eyes seared into steel as I ground against every inch of him.

My blood pounds with need, remembering. Waiting to see that firm, well-practiced control snap once more, for good.

His hands are on my hips. He’s staring down at me, curved low, and no. Now that I’ve seen him, I don’t want to look at shadows. I reach up and tear his hood back—and he lets me. He’s not wearing his mask. My heart stutters, just seeing his face. My voice is a whisper. “Why do you care?” I ask again, and I wait. I wait, and when he doesn’t say anything, I place my hands on his, not knowing if I want to remove them, or just feel them under mine.

He grips my hips harder. My breath hitches. His eyes darken into ink, bleeding into mine. Slowly, they drop to my neck, and the diamonds sparkling there. “Take this off,” he demands, instead of answering.

I scoff. “Are you back to ordering me again?”

“It means more than you are aware of.” Again, I am reminded of my limited immortal education compared to a king’s knight.

I lift my chin. “And what if I don’t care?”

At that, his eyes blaze. “You should care about being claimed, Aris. I would have thought that was exactly what you were hoping to avoid.”

Claimed? I rip the necklace off and shove it at his chest, pushing him away. “How convenient that you tarnish every shred of happiness that comes my way. Not everyone wants to be as miserable as you are, you know.”

I nearly slip out of his grip, but his gleaming gray eyes keep me still.

“This?” he demands, holding up my jewelry like it’s worthless and not valuable enough to feed villages for centuries. “This makes you happy? Shiny, pretty things?” He shakes his head in near disgust. His head leans low. His gaze slips down my dress and back up again. “I’ve seen you, beneath these fabrics. You don’t need diamonds.” My lips part with a gasp.

He must have heard what Magnus said—how the diamonds now made me shine “brighter than the stars and moon combined.”

You don’t need diamonds.

The words echo through my mind, and I hate him for it. Because he doesn’t just get to decide to say something like that after insulting me.

We glare at each other, chests heaving. He gets closer, as if to say something else, something he wants me to hear clearly.

Then his gaze flickers to the side, toward the shining gates at my back, and I watch him shudder. Shudder.

I turn, wondering what could make a warrior as fearsome as Raker flinch, but there’s nothing there. Nothing but his reflection.

“I wouldn’t want to take away any more of your happiness,” he says, dropping the necklace into my hands.

He turns to go, but my voice stops him. “I told you. The only thing I care about is reaching the end of this.” I shrug. “And the promises mean nothing. I don’t plan on living that long anyway.”

“So you’ve said.”

“So you’ve said,” I say through my teeth. “Almost exactly.” I tilt my head at him. “Or have you changed your mind about my chances of survival?”

He says nothing.

He doesn’t need to. I did it. I got Raker medicine. He’s recovered. I got invitations that will get us to the Land of the Gods in mere days.

I push off the gates, shaking away these feelings that are making it way too hard to focus.

The quest is all that matters. It must come first.