Page 180 of Starside

The sword trembles even more.

But his grip doesn’t loosen. No, massive hand gripping mine, he guides my blade’s edge closer to his throat. Together, we dig it into his skin. Harder. Harder. Until blood drips down his neck. There’s a line of it, a thin mark on his previously unmarred skin.

My eyes widen, watching the crimson, horrified.

“There,” he says. “A memory of my weakness.”

Then, he drops his hand.

I stumble back, his blood on my blade.

A sight I never thought I would fucking see.

I open my mouth. Close it. Still unbelieving that I actually bested him, and that he marked himself with my sword.

“Good job, Aris,” he says as he walks past me, not even bothering to wipe away the blood.

Dueling becomes a daily event.

I never get close to beating him again, but that’s because he’s finally trying. Finally treating me—consistently—like a worthy opponent.

Even though he doesn’t know it, he’s training me to have a chance against the gods. It’s why I don’t mind the break in our journey, the few hours it takes for us to get all our frustrations out with our blades.

After one of these sessions, I draw the map for him, and together we decide to go north, to avoid the desert completely. It adds a few days to our travels, but I’d rather be in woods lush with berries and mushrooms and game, than in a sea of sands.

Thanks to the starlight, we can travel more hours of the day than ever. We sleep whenever we must. And instead of the old nightmares, I have new ones. I hear the immortals’ screams. The ones we ignored.

I look at Raker, and I see mercilessness.

But I also see the knight that carried me until I woke up. That has trained me, every day since I marked him, like he wants me to be able to do it again.

I don’t pin my hair up anymore, tying it into its two braids at the sides that become a long one down my back, using it as a cover over my eyes at night, to sleep while wearing my bright necklace.

But tonight, I just stare up at the stars. According to the map, we’re almost to the edge of the forest. Almost to the Land of the Gods.

This is what I wanted. It’s why I’m here.

But for some reason, my mind is filled with all the things I’ll have missed out on if facing the gods leads to my death.

“I’ve never seen the sea before,” I say, staring up at the sky. I don’t even know if Raker is still awake. We’ve been camped out here for over an hour now.

He doesn’t answer. Of course he doesn’t.

Still, I turn to my side to face him. “Have you seen it?”

His hood is still on, just like his mask. I’m used to talking to fabric, but I have the strange urge to see his face. To see if he is truly the monster he acts like.

“I grew up by the sea,” he finally says.

I’m shocked into silence. It takes a few moments for me to say anything at all. “Was it … was it beautiful?” I ask, knowing all on Stormside has rapidly degraded since the gates.

“It used to be,” he says.

And that’s it. But now that he’s given me another tiny thread of his life … I want more. I want to know how this man became the most feared knight on Stormside.

“How did you claim your sword?” I ask.

By the tensing of his shoulders, it seems my question is a surprise. And, perhaps, unwelcome.