Page 179 of Starside

Maybe we would have died, trying to go back, or trying to help more. I don’t know. I will always regret not at least giving them a chance.

But I also regret how I reacted. I don’t want to be as bad as him.

“I’m sorry I attacked you.” The words are forced. I’m sure he can tell.

He finally looks down at me, sun glinting off the metal of his mask, as if he’s shocked that those words seriously just left my mouth.

I think he might be about to answer.

Then, without warning, he lets go of me, and I stumble before managing to catch myself, even though my legs are still numb with sleep.

He summons his sword in a flash. “And I’m sorry you were so fucking bad at it,” he says.

Right. Stupid of me to think Raker could be tolerable for more than a few hours.

For a second, I wonder if he’s just going to finally get rid of me, but then he falls into his stance and says, “Try again.”

I blink. He can’t be serious.

He nods at my incredulous look. “Try harder this time, Aris.”

Hate. Me. Harder.

I reach back for my blade. Pull it from its sheath. Fall into my stance.

“All that rage?” he says. “Make it mean something.” Then, he’s on me again.

Our swords clash and skim and join and tremble against each other. And without the rush of anger, my head is clearer. I frown in focus, remembering every time I’ve watched him fight. Every little movement. Every detail. My memory is my advantage.

And I’ve been watching him.

Maybe too carefully.

I know his favorite moves. I know how I’ve reacted to them in the past. So, when he goes to shove me against a tree, lifting his blade to press it against my neck—

I duck around him, kick the back of his legs, use his own momentum to my advantage, and shove him against the trunk instead.

My metal is at his throat.

I’m panting against his chest. The sword is shaking in my grip.

Shit. I … I did it.

He’s not even winded. I’m not sure he was even fully trying.

His mistake.

A win is a win.

I lift to my toes, and lean in, very carefully, luxuriating in this rare moment I never thought would fucking happen. “All this metal slows you down, Raker,” I whisper, as close to his ear as I can get. “Hiding behind it might just be your downfall.” My lips curl into a smug grin.

I let the metal graze him for just another moment.

Then, I go to drop my blade, but his hand reaches up, stopping me. His long fingers curl over mine, swallowing them. “No,” he says. “Go ahead. Follow through with it.”

I frown. What?

“Come on, Aris,” he drawls, his voice a rasped challenge. His rough thumb gently brushes against my pulse, and my treacherous heart stutters. “You know you want to.”