Page 83 of Senior

“I don’t know how many other ways I can clarify this shit for you, old man.”

“What is your real gripe with me dating your mama?”

I chuckled. Taking a long pull from the blunt, I looked in his direction.

“You really need me to spell it out for you, Senior? You been doing this shit my entire life. Back and forth. Back and forth. You had other relationships and kids in between the back and forth. Just a cycle of loving them and leaving them. That’s the example you set for your sons.

“Create babies, but not homes. I look at my wife and kids and could never think about not doing my best to offer them a loving and stable home with both parents present. I can’t picture sharing life with anyone but Salima. You played my mama to the left for three other women⁠—”

He sat up and looked at me. “Where the hell are you getting that, Deuce? Your mama left me, not the other way around.”

“So why the fuck you ain’t fix the shit that was wrong the first time! How many chances do you need to get it right? You don’t think I wanted a two-parent household too? She left you and you just moved on⁠—”

“She moved on too! You just didn’t see that shit until you were older. You don’t think your mama had boyfriends or niggas on her before you were old enough to run them off? She did, you just weren’t around them. You out here acting like I was cheating on her or just doing her wrong and it’s never been like that, Deuce. Your mama left because I wasn’t as present for her as she needed me to be. I regret that shit every fucking day.

“Your mama is my soulmate. I knew that from the moment I laid eyes on her. Her leaving fucked me up to the point where I looked for her in other women. True, I found pieces of her, but never the whole thing. Did I genuinely love Tavia, Allison, and Maddie? Yes. But there has never been a substitute for her. Never a replacement. There was only one Stephanie and any time she decided she wanted me back, I went, no questions asked.”

“And you still fumbled that shit.”

“It wasn’t for lack of trying. I tried. The trust was already fucked up, though. She couldn't trust that I could be the man she needed. Every time we got serious again, she ran. I proposed to that woman six times, Deuce. Six times with six different rings. Six times I tried to make us a family and six times I was told no.”

I shook my head. “Then why keep chasing her?”

“The heart wants what it wants, son. I ain’t right without that lady. She has a hold on me that I can’t let go of. I'll chase her to the end of the fucking earth if I have to. Call me crazy for still loving her after all this time. Call me delusional to think we still have a chance. I don't care. My heart is with her. She's had it since we were teenagers. I don't want it back if I can't have her too."

The look on his face was dead ass serious. Serious to the point that I believed he would probably die too if my mama left this world without him. I looked down at the blunt and handed it to him as a peace offering. He took it, taking a long pull from it.

Before I could say anything, he turned to me.

“I’m sorry that I created a broken home for you, Deuce. For all of you. Even if I wasn’t with any of your mothers, I’ve always done my best by all of you. Everything I am is because of you kids. There is nothing in this world I wouldn’t give or do for you. Before any job. Before the money. Before any woman, y’all have always come first.”

I couldn’t deny that.

The man was flawed, but he’d always been a good father. I mean, we gave him hell at times, but he was a solid dad and a hell of a grandfather.

“I know,” I admitted. I sighed heavily. “Are you gonna do right by her, Senior?”

“I don’t have it in me to be anything but right. I waited a long time for another chance with your mama.”

“Let me ask you something. I know what the autopsy said. But I’m asking you. Did you have anything to do with Aaron dying?”

He frowned as he stared at me. “The fuck you just asked me?”

“You heard me.”

“Son, if I had anything to do with that man’s death, do you really think I would have waited four years to shoot my shot?”

I shrugged. “I wouldn’t put it past your ass. You thirsty as fuck when it comes to my mama.”

“I ain’t thirsty… a nigga is dehydrated.”

That caused the corners of my mouth to raise slightly. “You get on my nerves, man.”

“You get on mine too. I was fully prepared to hand you your ass today. Your mama and your wife asked me to spare you. I can’t disappoint my girls.”

My brows furrowed. “Did my wife know about this shit?”

“Whether she knew or not, you ain’t about to make this a thing with my daughter, you understand me? That will really make me put my hands on you. Tread lightly.”