Page 25 of Senior

He nodded. “I mean, he doesn’t need money. I have nothing of sentimental value to leave him. He’s proven to have an eye for businesss, and the community respects him and his family. I know he would take care of my tenants the way I would.”

I smiled. “He would. That’s a beautiful gesture, Aaron.” I pecked his lips and rested in his arms. “Hopefully, we don’t have to worry about this will for a very long time. I don’t want to think about life without you.”

He kissed my temple. “You have to be realistic about it, love. Everyone’s days are numbered. We all have to go sometime.”

“I know, I know. I just… we haven’t had that long together. There are couples with twenty, thirty, forty, and fifty years under their belt. I wish that was the case with us. I never saw myself getting married so late in life.”

“Well, my love, you were the one that turned down six proposals from a man that told me it’s always smoke behind you.”

I playfully mushed his head. “Shut up. Stanley is always gonna be Stanley.”

“I’m sure he will. Just like I’m sure if by some chance I fuck up or die before you, he’s gonna be right there to pick up the pieces. Honestly, I ain’t mad about that. If I can’t be here, I’d rather you be with someone I know loves you and will take care of you.”

I laughed. “Did you just give me permission to go back to my ex if we ever break up or you die?”

“You don’t need my permission, Steph. I know you love that man.”

The smile slowly dropped from my face, and I looked down at my hands. “What makes you say that?”

“The fact that you didn’t deny it. I get it. You spent a lifetime with him. I don’t expect those feelings to die so easily. I just… know my place in your life.”

I cupped his face. “You’re my husband. You’re the man that’s given me true, unconditional love the first time around. The man that has given me all of him, no questions asked and no conditions. The man I’m excited to wake up and do life with every single day. I have lived my best soft life with you, baby. You come first, no matter what.”

He pecked my lips. “I appreciate that. But I love you enough to want you to be happy after I’m gone. It doesn’t matter what that happiness looks like or who it’s with. If it’s Senior or someone else, you deserve to be loved every day in every capacity. When it’s my time, I’ll know that I left this world loving you to the best of my abilities. Besides, it’s not like I’m gonna come back and haunt that man,” he added with a chuckle.

This whole conversation left me with a weird feeling. Part of me felt like my husband felt like I settled for him and that was the furthest thing from the truth. Aaron truly made me happy. I loved that man… fucking adored him. When I said he’d given me the best soft life a girl could ask for, I meant that.

Did I still love Senior? Yes. I don’t think there would ever be a time or space where I didn’t love that man. But I loved my husband too and for very different reasons. He was my focus, and I’d remain loyal to him for as long as God allowed me to have him.

Present Day

“Steph!”

I blinked rapidly as I came out of my thoughts. I felt a set of eyes on me and remembered that was out to eat with Kathy, Aaron’s sister. She started rambling about God only knows and I’d tuned her out.

My thoughts drifted to Senior and that kiss we shared on Maceo’s birthday. When he pulled me into his arms, I knew I was gonna fold. The tension between us grew so thick, so fast. In four years, we hadn’t crossed a line. How did one interaction in his mother’s kitchen lead to us lip locking in the maze?

His touch ignited a longing I hadn’t felt in a long time. I’d been content with my time alone. I’d barely touched myself and this man had me wanting to be pushed up against the wall and thoroughly fucked. I remembered what his touch was like… how it felt to have his hands and mouth on me. How it felt to have my body rocked from the inside out. Memories flooded my mind, reminding me of my favorite quote from Toni Morrison.

“All water has a perfect memory and is forever trying to get back to where it was.”

That seemed to be the story of our lives together, always trying to get back to what we knew. It wasn’t because we were familiar with each other. We shared the kind of love that didn’t fade away with time or circumstance. Some people, when you loved them, you loved them for life.

“Hmm?” I said, finally giving her my full attention.

“You okay? You spaced out for a second there.”

“I’m fine. Just in my head. What were you saying?”

“Nevermind. What’s up with you?”

I couldn’t tell her what was on my mind. I mean, it wasn’t like I was cheating on my husband with my ex. I was well within my rights to move on. But Kathy was one of these people you had to feed with a long-handled spoon. She loved to throw the rock and hide her hand. Not to mention, she could be messy as hell.

If there was ever any drama or gossip in the family, it was because of her. Too many times, I’d seen family members almost come to blows because she put the battery in their back. She was the one you had to watch.

“Family things,” I answered.

“Everything okay?”