Page 12 of Senior

Once he left the drug business, he was fixated on doing something good. That’s where the Dillinger Organization came into play. I felt like he wanted to undo years of wrongdoing in his own community. Honestly, I don’t feel like he ever shared the same values as his family. He was just expected to follow a certain path. Once he was forced to find his own footing, he didn’t look back.

The man was an amazing father to Deuce and his other children as they came. However, the higher his demand rose, the more he couldn’t be an attentive and present partner. He chose to give his all to the organization and his kids same as he did when he was selling drugs. There were too many times where I tried to make it work again because I loved him.

It just didn’t.

That wasn’t to say that he didn’t love me back. I never questioned that, even all these years later. Plain and simple, he was married to his job. It took me a long time to accept that and walk away from a romantic relationship with that man. It didn’t help that I was still having sex with him occasionally. The cherry on top was me having a yearlong affair with his ass.

Ghetto shit.

“Steph?”

The sound of Senior calling my name broke my thoughts. I blinked rapidly as my gaze focused.

“Hmm?”

“You good, love?”

“Yeah… yeah. Must be the weed.”

He chuckled. “I told you it would mellow you out. Your eyes are low as hell.”

I giggled. “I’m gonna have a good night’s sleep tonight.”

“I’m sure you will. I’ll roll the rest of this and leave it with you.”

“Thank you.” I reached over and pinched his cheek. “You always take care of me.”

Grabbing my wrist, he kissed the palm of my hand. “I got you, baby.”

I sat back watching him as he rolled four more blunts. He was different with me since Aaron died. Where he’d always been a flirt with me, it was almost nonexistent now. He barely sat close to me. There were no jokes of us getting back together to annoy our son.

He was respectful of my feelings and my healing. To be honest, he was part of the circle that kept me going in the months after losing Aaron. Stanley had been by my side every step of the way, but never overstepped boundaries. He’d come over to bring food, cook for me, or clean up around the house. He made me get out of bed and get some fresh air, even if it meant walking around the neighborhood in silence.

I’d cried in this man’s arms on countless occasions, and he’d never used my grief as a way back in. I respected and loved him for that. I saw the growth in him over the years since his retirement. He was still that same goofy ass man that was all about his kids and grandbabies, but he had this aura about him now. Visibly, I could tell he was at peace with life. Even if he never complained about it, I knew he needed that.

Shit… we all did.

“You gonna stop just walking up in my shit, Pop.”

I shook my head at Deuce as I stood at the stove in his kitchen. I’d come over to cook breakfast for my grandbabies like I did every Monday. The fact that he was acting like this wasn’t a routine blew me. My kids had designated days where I would come cook breakfast. I went in birth order so there was no confusion as to what day was theirs.

“Deuce, go sit your ass down somewhere.”

“How you gon’ tell me to sit down in my house?”

“Nigga, I built this bitch, and you came from my nuts, so I can tell you what to do anytime, anyplace.”

“It don’t work like that, old man.”

“It works how I say it works. Either come give me some love or sit down and shut the fuck up.”

He smirked as he walked over to where I stood flipping bacon.

“I’m just fucking with you, old timer,” he said, hugging me. “I don’t want no smoke.”

“I know you don’t.”

I kissed his head and released him.