Page 48 of Session 25

Once in my apartment, I turned on some music, lit a candle, poured wine, and headed straight to my nook. Before I got situated, I made sure to remove Marcel’s access to my location on my iPad. When that was done, it was as if a weight had been lifted off my shoulder. I lay back in my olive green recliner, feet kicked up and Lambrusco in my hand. The peace allowed me to exhale. I needed it, I welcomed it, and I turned my phone on do not disturb for the rest of the day.

“Bitch, you better slow down. I don’t know who you think you are.” Marli chastised me with her index finger pointed in my face from across the table.

“Blah, blah. Why can’t I enjoy myself? I just got a promotion, I’m single, and I haven’t had any drama in my life in a few weeks.” I boasted louder than I needed to be. The happy hour celebration that Marli suggested was catching up to me. Curtis had promoted me to the lead accountant, and as the only Black woman in accounting, this was big. Teddy had come out for a little while as well, but now it was after eight, and I was still sucking down a peach Margarita.

“Well, because we are going separate ways and I do still have a baby to tend to.” She smacked her lips. Marli hadn’t been out since she had given birth, so just like I was celebrating, I needed her to also live in the moment. We didn’t know how often she would get a babysitter.

The weather was warm, my skin was glowing, and my short cut was now growing out. And when I looked in the mirror this morning after throwing on my beige linen pants set, I sent a text to Marli for us to link tonight.

It would have been easy for me to link up with Roman, but I needed some girl talk because it had been so long. I had fallen back from Rae completely and limited my time with Roman. Marli and Teddy insisted that I find myself outside of a relationship.

All of what they were saying was true and needed to be said, but right about my pussy throbbed and all I could think about was sex. I got up, excusing myself before going in the bathroom. My hair was still intact, but my lipstick had come off. I added a fresh coat and a dab of gloss, washed my hands, and met Marli, who was now paying the bill.

I should have known that she would do that. She lifted an ice cup filled with water. “Drink this before you pull off.” I happily took the cold water, sucking most of it down as I followed behind her.

“I’m gonna sit under the AC for a while. I’ll let you know when I drive off, but don’t be panicking. I’m good.”

“You better be.” She slid into the backseat of her Toyota Uber. I watched it drive away before I walked to where I had parked my car. As soon as I sat in the car, I turned on my AC. The cool air hit my face as I closed my eyes.

My phone connected to the sound system, scaring me as Roman’s name popped up on my phone.

“Holaaaa,” I sang into the line.

“You drunk, Koi?” He asked without hesitation.

“Are you eating pussy tonight?” I giggled into the phone; face flushed from the happy hour drinks. My leg rested up on the dashboard as my seat pushed as far back as it would go.

“You know that ain’t never been a question when it comes to you, but that’s not what I asked. I asked if you were drunk and if you are, who the hell is driving you home?” The way this man spoke to me had me biting my lip and blushing. “You can’t speak? Drop me a pin, I’m on my way cus you think this shit a game.”

Roman wasn’t like any nigga I had ever met. He sure wasn’t like any nigga I fucked since I had only been with one dude like the fake ass saint I was. But hell, when he checked me, I wanted to happily respond “yes daddy” without a second thought. Yet my shy girl ways always crept in when it was time to take that leap.

“I sent it,” I giggled again.

“I’m gonna fuck you up.”

“I mean, I’ve never been fucked up. I’ve had my coochie beat up a lil, but I’ve never been fucked up.” I twirled a loose curl. “You want me ass in the air, or on my stomach? Either doesn’t matter but I’m open to what you want boo.” I flirted.

“Yea. You playing. I’m on my way,” Roman didn’t even bother entertaining my fuckery. He ended the call without a second thought. I shrugged, exited his text thread, and scrolled to her name.

“Wassup beautiful?” The way her voice sent a warm feeling through me should have been studied.

“I miss you. I’m tipsy, and I kinda wanna see you, but I also have plans, so I just called to hear your voice.” I sat back in the seat thinking, who the fuck was I? Just months ago, I was scared of even looking at someone else, more or less dating anyone, and now I was wrapped up in a situation with two people who had a bitch head gone and nose wide open.

“So, in other words, you saying you ‘bout to give my pussy to someone else, huh?”

Blunt and unapologetic, Rae didn’t give a damn what left her mouth. She meant it when we first had sex that I was hers and she was mine.

“Don’t be like that. You’re busy, remember.” I was salty when I asked to link earlier this week, and she ran down just how busy she was going to be with her husband. And as much as the shit annoyed me, I chalked it up and said fine. My second best eater would just have to do.

“Man. If only you knew the change in plans, but that’s not what we’re on the phone for.” She sighed. “Make time for me.”

I honestly don’t even know why I flirted with Rae. I was scared as hell to let her back between my legs. She hadn’t only unleashed something inside of me, but she as a person was top tier.

It was complicated, and while I didn’t want to fall down that rabbit hole with her, I opted to stick with Roman.

He was grown, didn’t beat around the bush, wasn’t stingy, and he loved to spoil me with whatever my heart desired. Even after our last misunderstanding, he was patient yet persistent with not letting me go.

Now don’t get me wrong, Rae had it going on, but I knew this was a fling. I didn’t want a woman, and well, she was married, so allowing her to continue to be my therapist was risky, but for my own selfish reasons I didn’t want to lose her.