Page 4 of Session 25

I was with her until she mentioned the last comment. Everyone in my family knew about my infertility issues. It wasn’t a secret. I wanted a child, but at thirty two, I had yet to produce one. Well, healthy that is. I’ve been pregnant twice, and both times resulted in a miscarriage. One at seven months, crushing me.

“Alright now. Where are your crazy ass kids?” I switched subjects fast. This wasn’t about to be a beat a woman down type of night. I had enough of that shit at home.

“Junior and Rah are probably running down on someone being the typical bad asses they are, and Rika, hell, I don’t know. She’s been missing for quite some time.” She shrugged as if her twenty eight year old daughter not checking in was normal. Rika was her oldest, and then there was Shelly and Drew, then the younger ones, Junior and Rah. Shelly and Drew lived across the Bronx with their fathers.

“And you just don’t give a damn, huh?” I questioned her. “What if they get caught up in something? You know Rah daddy is already dead and well Junior father don’t give a damn.” I tried to check her. It was hearing shit like this that pissed me off. While I couldn’t carry a baby to full term, women like Belinda had multiple pregnancies and kids that she clearly didn’t care about.

“It ain’t that. Anyway, back to this no good nigga of yours.” She snaked her neck around for emphasis. “You sure you are done with him? Cus’, niece I know you. You will let that man sweet talk you, and crawl back into his trap.”

“That was before.” My voice trailed off when I heard a familiar voice.

“I know they ain’t got my boujee ass cousin up in the hood,” he chuckled. “Where Marcel at?” Drew asked, pulling me into a hug. “Belinda, wassup?” She nodded like she was his friend instead of his mother. Drew was her second oldest, and from their dynamic you wouldn’t think they were mother and son.

“In his skin.” I rolled my eyes. Drew was protective. Ten years younger than me didn’t matter when it came to how he acted behind me.

“Well, shit. I guess he’s in the doghouse, huh?” I sipped from my ice cup without saying anything. My drink had me feeling nice and tipsy. The bread from my chop cheese was supposed to soak up the liquid, but I was feeling every bit of the alcohol. While I wanted to erase Marcel from my mind. Every time someone saw me, they asked where he was, pissing me off further. Annoyed, I opened the ice cup, finishing off my drink.

“You better slow down. How she got here, Belinda?” I was refilling my cup, ignoring my cousin's concerns.

“She drove, I'm sure of it.”

“I did. My truck is up the block, why?” I cocked my head to the side while I swayed to the music that blasted from the speaker on the other bench.

“Your Audi truck?” His face was screwed up. “Nah. I’m calling Marcel.”

“Do not. Shid, call one of your homeboys and tell them to come drop me off since you so scared for me,” I fired back.

“You’re drunk. I’m gonna get your mother over here then.” Drew pulled out his phone, and I lunged in his direction, snatching the iPhone from his hand swiftly.

“Do not call her ass. You wanna call someone, call my brother instead.” Duke was my older brother. I was the middle child, and as the saying goes, the middle child was definitely the problem.

“Fine. Either way, someone needs to come get your ass.” Drew sounded more like my elder than my younger cousin.

“She’s good. She can come upstairs and sleep it off,” Belinda spoke. I immediately started to sober up. I loved my aunt, but going to her house was a no go. Between the roaches and the strong stench of marijuana, I didn’t want to be bothered with either.

“Oh no. I’ll be able to drive. Don’t trip.” I sent my sister a text. She was probably running the streets with her child, but any chance she got to drive my truck, she jumped at the opportunity. Duke would probably lecture me, but Sicily would ask what time I needed her to pull up.

Since she still lived with my mom and her father, I already knew they would eventually find out. But I didn’t give a damn. I was grown, and I was in mourning.

“Girlll…” Sicily emphasized the word as soon as I picked up her call. “Why are you in Mott Haven? Over at Belinda’s house?”

“Don’t play me like that. I’m outside the park. But the better question is, are you coming or nah?”

“Hell, yea I’m coming, but you know ma gonna wanna know why I’m leaving Sophia here.” She knew better than me that my mama was not worried about where she was going. Sicily just had a big ass mouth. Which is why I tried not to involve her messy ass often.

“You know she ain’t worried ‘bout that child. Come bring your ass.” I rolled my eyes. My parents lived two blocks away in Patterson Projects. The two block distance made a huge difference. One project was a one way in, one way out death trap, and the other was open, big and full of many different gangs, only steps away from each other.

While all of this seemed normal when I was growing up. As an adult, it was trash, and I popped in and out for the antics but left before the drama. I called that balance.

“Whatever. I’m ‘bout to walk that way. Don’t have me walking through Mott Haven looking for you either. Stay your tipsy ass right on that bench.”

“Chile, I am not going anywhere. I’ll be waiting.” I ended the call, pulled out my cranberry juice, and poured more contents into my ice cup. By now I had been with Belinda for over two hours, talking shit. Marcel had left me a plethora of texts and a few calls, but I wasn’t budging. Him and his loose community dick could get the hell on. He was about to see that all that good girl, accept what happens cus he comes home at night, attitude was long gone.

“Fuck that,” I mumbled to myself, sipping my mixed drink through my straw, without a care in the world. “Marcel just gonna have to see that I’m about tired of the same ol sad ass story.”

After texting and calling Koi for more than two hours, waiting around for her ass to come home was out the window. She knew what the fuck was up. I only allowed her ass to leave because she wanted to go and attend her therapy session. The same therapy that saved my ears from the earache of hearing her go off. But as a nigga who had been around the block a few times, she knew what the fuck was up.

I came home every night, paid the bills, and kept her fine ass draped in Diamonds and Gucci. So, wherever this new energy was coming from had a nigga stumped. My dick had been up and through many of bitches, but Koi could never prove it, and the fact that I was clean was a major plus. But this latest stunt had me on edge.